severus snape

Finding the Truth

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 00:32:44 GMT

After I locate Theo's flat it is a simple matter of Disapparating before his building. I quick scan and I realize the boy has no block on his home against unwanted wizards Apparating inside, though that may be what he wants people to think. With my wand out and ready to act as soon as I appear, I disapparate into Theo's building. As soon as the room comes into being around me I look around quickly and spot Theo, wand already in hand and something beside him, wispy and white which disappears even as I cast a spell.

"Expelliarmus!" I shout and see Theo's wand fly out of his hand.

Visit with Draco and Pansy

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 05:49:48 GMT

I decide it is time I should do something to better ensure Draco is not alone especially after Narcissa and Lucius leave England till after Narcissa has her baby.

Dear Draco:

If its at all possible I will like to visit with you today. There is something I need to talk to you about, something I should have brought up long ago.

Yours,

Severus Snape, Professor of Defense against The Dark Arts.

I send out the note with a school Owl and wait for a response.

Friday Outing

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 03:42:35 GMT

The nightclub was packed and I was lucky to have managed to get inside giving the lineup. I used one of Lucius's tricks and slipped a galleon into the hands of the doorman and suddenly I was inside long before my position in line would have allowed.

Once inside I found a fairly quiet area by the bar, which in truth was not very quiet at all. But it did give me a good view of the masses of witches and wizards filling the place and crowding the dance floor. A live band was playing tonight which is most likely why the crowd was so thick giving it is a weekday night, instead of on the weekend. The bulk of the patrons were young, wizards and witches at age or not too many years into adulthood. Their faces swim in the flashing lights and mystic fog swirling about the dance floor.

I recognize most of them. Not all their names come to mind but I have taught them at one point or another over the past decade. There are a few I know should not be even in this place, being under aged wizards but I am not here to enforce wizarding law. At least I know they are much to young for me to even consider as a potential date.

What happened to decorum in wizards and witches today? The dance parties and events I would go with Lucius and Narcissa were much more formal affairs. More like the Yule Ball that was held at Hogwart's not long ago. There at least, some formality was enforced, at least till the wild music of The Weird Sisters took over.

There must be a way to get Lucius pardoned. He knows how to move in upper society with a skill I have yet to master. This sort of place would not be where he would direct me to search for a potential mate. This place teaming with so much young flesh on display. Couples snog at tables and in corners and near the loo with indecent abandon, the formal balls I have attended with my friends would never have such displays.

Have they all forgotten so quickly the Dark Lord and his view of the world?

I should just abandon this foolish attempt of mine to find a date. My encounter with Miss Bell showed me quite clearly any witch who knows who I am will see me only as a murderer and a Death Eater. None know of the risks I put myself in for many years serving as spy upon the Dark Lord for The Order of the Phoenix and Albus. They only see me as the surely Potions Master, Former Death Eater and killer of Albus Dumbledore. Even now I can see the looks of hate and fear in the eyes of former students who recognize me. I do not see many of my former Slytherins, perhaps they go to other places of better decorum than this night club. It angers me to see their fear, their accusations in their eyes. Do none of them understand the sacrifices I had to make all these years? The pain I suffered under the Dark Lord's rule? Do any of them even care?

It makes me angry. It is one reason I avoided public appearances. Limited myself to the more former gatherings in the Malfoy Manor or homes of other Death Eaters. Those who can truly appreciate what I have done, even if it is only the dark side of my past. Even those Purebloods who couldn't stand me, they at least knew how to act properly, not these obvious shows of hatred and fear I see in the eyes around me.

Only Albus and Narcissa truly understood my pain, now there is only Narcissa and she does not understand as much as Albus did. These women pale compare to Narcissa. None of them have her eloquent grace, her fluidity of movement, aristocratic bearing or fine well bred features. Even though some of these witches are half her age, none can match her beauty.

I cannot have her, she is Lucius's wife and she loves him. There is no way Narcissa will consent to feel for me the way I now feel for her. To her I am her little brother and a loyal friend. I am not a lover to her, now or a potential one. Once again I have fallen in love with a woman who does not return that love. It burns in me but I cannot stop how I feel. It is not easier to bear this.

I wish Lucius will stop distrusting me and be like the 'brother in law' and fellow comrade he used to be in the past. I need him to be in that role, I need him to stop hiding all the time and remind me why I cannot cross the line even if he is totally unaware of it. It makes it easier to give in to temptation when he is never around when I visit with Narcissa.

"Professor Snape? Is that you?"

I turn at the sound of the voice, realizing that I had lost myself in my inner contemplations and had not noticed the witch approach me till she spoke.

"Yes it is." I reply focusing finally on the young woman before me. I recognize her as a student I taught a decade or so ago, probably during my first couple years of teaching. However her name eludes me.

"Its me, Sara Landowne," She introduces me and the memory of her as a student falls into place. "You used to teach me Potions quite some time ago, nearly ten years now."

"I remember, Miss Landowne," I reply. She would have left Hogwart's several years before Harry Potter started. She is attractive and seemed quite warm towards me compared to witches who have passed by me so far tonight. I also remember she was not a Slytherin, but not sure what house she was, Ravenclaw perhaps.

"It has been quite some time since I have seen you. How have you been?"

"Oh, lots of things have happened since I graduated from school." She replies with a smile and hooks her arm into mine quite boldly. "I am doing great, even better now that I ran into you. Even though you were a surely bastard as a teacher I always had a crush on you."

Before I could wrap that statement around my head I find myself pulled onto the dance floor and into a rather energetic dance. It is a dance I am not familiar nor too keen to perform but I find myself in the presence of a very assertive witch. It makes me uncomfortable but I decide to let her take the lead. If she's had an interest in me since school i may find her pleasant company and she could make a good mate for me.

I learn quickly though she is not a conversationalist. After insisting on me calling her Sara she quickly launches into a babble of nonsense, most of which I loose over the general noise of the club. She doesn't seem to require a response to her endless talking so I remain silent. After dancing a few dances she pulls me into a quiet corner and leans against me in a way that affects me in different ways.

"How about we go somewhere more quiet so we can talk and catch up." she suggests with a sly wink. I easily Legilimens her intentions and it causes me to blush before I can get a hold of myself. I am not ready for that sort of thing with a woman I barely remember teaching, much less know. But even before I could answer her she is kissing me, hard, passionately. I respond in kind without even thinking about it. IT is raw desire that swells in me, not like the love induced desires I felt within me when I kissed Narcissa but something just as primal. She pushes against me and I find myself pinned in a corner between the hall and wall of the loo. I do not have a way to escape the affections of this witch and even though my body is responding with lustful abandon I am panicking in her embrace.

It is with great effort I fend her off and push her back with one arm while I struggle to catch my breath and reel in my emotions. This sort of behavior is down right indecent in a witch. I would expect it more in a working girl not a respectable witch.

"Wow you are one fine kisser, Severus." She tells me breathlessly using my given name though I did not give her leave to do so. But I am much to shocked by her amorous assault to protest against it. "Lets go to my place and continue."

"No, lets not." I gasp out firmly, finally controlling my lust. It is easier as this isn't Narcissa and it is towards her I feel the strongest emotion, not this woman. "I have enjoyed our time together but I do not rush into such things. It is not proper for you to do so either."

"How dare you!" She yells and slaps me hard enough to send my head sideways and my other cheek slaps against the wall. Not as painful as her hand on my face but still. "Just because I like you and all doesn't mean just because I want to take you home tonight that is no call for you to call me a whore!"

"What?" I say in confusion. "I never called you a .."

"You are a bastard!" She storms off before I can even figure out what ticked her off. I run over the last thing I told her and I definitely didn't use the word 'whore' or implied it. Only told her she was moving too fast for a proper woman to do. Why did she get so angry about that.

Scrawling I decide to leave before some other woman acts in a confusing manner.

Disapparating back to my flat in Spinner's End I pull off my cloak and hang it up. Frustrated I drop down into my chair and glower. It has been a few times now that I have gone out in the hopes of finding a suitable witch to date but none have been even remotely suitable. Miss Bell was too annoyingly filled with self righteousness not to mention already dating Narcissa's latest young wizard friend, Nicolas. Then an older witch who practically laughed in my face at the mere suggestion of even talking with me in a civil manner and now this night's encounter. My cheek still stings were that witch slapped me.

I do not know the first thing about how to date women. Relax Albus tells me, well I did relax and it didn't get me anywhere. Being myself seems ineffective either. It is obvious to me that I will not find a witch who can even feel any emotion towards me other than friendship.

Now I understand why many Pureblood families arranged marriages between their children. It made the whole dating and marriage thing so much easier.

I should talk to Lucius. If the situation was different, if he wasn't currently a wanted man and been imprisoned for three years I am sure he would know of a suitable witch for me and make the introductions. It would make things easier and I would know she at least would be of good breeding and not likely to throw themselves on me like Miss Landowne this evening. But with Lucius being out of touch, he may not know of any eligible witches and limited in who he can contact to find out.

No if Lucius is to help me find a witch I can learn to appreciate even a fraction as I do Narcissa, I need to give Lucius his freedom and to do that, I need to find a way to clear his name. Money won't do it completely but there are some options but I need to get a better understanding of the legal system. Albus used to be part of the Wizengamet but talking to him in Minerva's office is cumbersome and too many former Headmasters can overhear. But the Malfoy's have their own retainer, perhaps I can learn what I need from him or her. I need to know what evidence I need to gather to prove Lucius was not in control of his actions at the Ministry and I have to find a logical way to explain why he was fighting Bellatrix in Diagon Alley, not to mention muggle baiting in London. It would have been better if he just laid low since escaping.

Gift Exchange

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 04:43:16 GMT

It was not easy to come up with Christmas gifts this year but I managed to make a discovery which may prove most beneficial. But now I need to give Draco his gift as I am not sure if he will be over at his parent's place when I am for Christmas. Thus I decide to track him down at his club to do a little gift exchange. I arrive at the club in the early evening and find it is not as busy as I expected. Most likely the Death Eater attack a month or so ago has scared away alot of Draco's patrons. Hopefully that changes in time.

I stride in and look over the patrons. As I have been doing more lately I check out the witches and see if any appeal to me. Some do but they seem to be with male partners, whether friends or husbands I do not know. After a few minutes I focus on why I came. Though I can't remember her name I tell the hostess I am here to see Draco.

A few minutes pass and Draco comes down to the main dining area of the club. Smiling as he sees me, he comes over and gives me a handshake. "It's good to see you Professor. Have you eaten?"

"Good evening Draco." I reply surprised he offered the handshake but I don't hesitate to shake his hand. "It is good to see your club back in business. Crowd is smaller than before but I am sure it will fill up again in no time."

"I have not had a chance to eat, but I can grab something later." I don't want him to think I came here for a free meal but I certainly won't decline the offer if he presents it.

"Nonsense. You are always welcome here. Please send one of the house-elves up in 20 minute's time with two of the special," Draco says to the hostess.

"Of course Mr. Malfoy."

A few minutes later we are in Draco's office, where we have spoken several times in the past months.

"It's good to see you."

"You are looking well, Draco." I tell him. "How are things with Pansy?" I recall the last time I talked with Draco he was having some issues with his fiance. "I hope she has not wanted to make anymore late night visits to male friends."

"Thank you, you look well too." We go over to where we usually sit, and I notice that his office is decorated for Christmas. "Things are going better with Pansy - and no, no more late night visits to male friends. In fact, Theo and I are trying to regain our friendship."

"I am glad to hear things are better between you and Pansy." I tell him as I take a seat. "Is he as arrogant and cheeky with you or does he just reserve that for me?"

"I believe a run in that he had recently with someone has humbled him somewhat. I was summoned to St. Mungo's because he had a possible message for my mother from Greyback."

"What?" I exclaim, surprised to hear Theo tangled with Fenrir and lived to tell about it. "Was he bitten? What message did he have for Narcissa?"

Draco shakes his head. "Not bitten, but scratched. And he said that Mother's name came up. Any word on Bellatrix?" I can see that he is worried about his mother, although he's trying hard to hide it.

"My contacts I have trying to track her down have not found her yet." I reply. "Your mother is fine it wasn't too long ago I have seen her. Greyback won't be able to get to your mother, she is safe at the Manor."

Unusual Dream and Visit with Narcissa and Lucius

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 21:21:01 GMT

*****Rated Adult **********

I find myself walking into Narcissa's bedroom and see her standing, facing me and smiling. I smile back at her and close the distance between us. Without hesitation I lean forward and kiss her, feeling the softness of her lips, the heat of her breath, the sensation of her body pressing against mine as she responds to my touch. I feel my world mould into this one moment as my love for her envelopes me and shuts out everything else.

Moments later I find she is lying on the bed, flashes of her soft creamy flesh fill my mind, her long sensual legs, elegant thighs, her flat stomach, perfectly formed breasts and finally her face, the face of an angel, strong, demure, beautiful. I consume her with kisses as my hands run over her soft flesh, each contact causing her to sigh and moan, her skin flushes as a soft sheen of desire rises from her.

Flashes of her face, eyes closed, skin flushed, mouth partly open as she breaths quickly, emitting small moans of pleasure as I work over her. Her legs lock around my hips urging me on, and I can hear my own lustful grunts. As I feel exquisite release, her eyes pop open and I see a galaxy of desires flaring in her beautiful blue eyes. She calls out in her pleasure and pulls me down tightly as we both convulse in mutual ecstasy.

I move to roll off of her when she gasps, and I realize it isn't because I moved. It is then I sense we are not alone. Turning quickly, I see the rage-filled features of Lucius before I am enveloped in a blinding green light.

The shock of facing death jolts me awake, and I fling myself out of bed, kicking the sheets free of my legs. Standing in a crouch beside my bed, it takes me a moment to realize where I am, that I am very much alone; Lucius is not standing before with wand raise and murder in his eyes. Instead I see my bedroom in Hogwarts, my night clothes drenched with sweat which I realize was not caused by fear. Standing I feel shame and embarrassment color my cheeks as I flush. I have not had such a dream for decades and given the subject of my exotic dream I flush even more. Not since I was a child did I have such dreams and never did they end with death. They were certainly never about Narcissa!

With the mess I made of my night robes, I pull them off and discard them as I head to my personal loo. There I cool my ardor with a brisk shower and dress. I do not plan to risk sleep to have such dreams again. Instead I head down to my private potions lab. Though Horace now is Potions Master, he has not requested access to the potion lab I keep in the castle. I am grateful he has not tried to gain access or expressed any desire to do so as many of my personal experience lie within, many of which the Board of Governors would not approve of. Except perhaps Lucius if he had not been remove from the board subsequent to his arrest.

***End Rated Adult*******

A Night Out

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 18:54:20 GMT

After leaving the Malfoy Manor I am not fool enough to apparate outside the gates to Hogwarts. Though it means I miss an entire day of classes for the first time in over a decade, I am not going to try and teach with this passion coursing through me. I instead go to my flat at Spinner's End to regain control of myself.

I know now I should have left after talking with the elf. To see in Lucius's mind an image of Narcissa naked, to feel his love and lust for her, to know she responds in kind, is the last thing I needed to feel. I can barely understand my own feelings for a woman I have always considered a sister changing to those of one more suited to court her. Is being alone for so long truly jeopardising my friendship with Narcissa? Or is Lucius' past ill treatment of his wife driving me to protect her more than I have ever wished to in the past.

The last few years have wrought changes within me I never expected. Being forced to kill Dumbledore, a man I have grown to respect and consider a good friend since I joined his side so long ago, has affected me greatly. Yet I could not deny the fact I swore an oath to serve him no matter what he orders me to do for his help in protecting Lily from the Dark Lord. Then taking the Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa to ensure Draco was protected. I trapped myself in that..but I would not stand by and let my godson perish in the Dark Lord's schemes. I did not think I would have to kill a friend to do it. Narcissa doesn't even know I killed Dumbledore on his own orders, to protect her son, but she has not asked me why the Minister pardoned me.

Then when I told Narcissa about my secret love, Lily Evans. How I was the one who told the Dark Lord about the prophecy and learned to my horror he choose the Potter's boy as the one who the prophecy spoke off. I tried everything I could to protect Lily but failed. I risked life and limb to repay her for my sins and when her son came to Hogwarts, I did my best to protect him despite his similarities to his father. Narcissa showed me I have repaid my dept to Lily and to let go of that torment. I felt reborn. Was that truly the start of these changes within me? Or has the desire always be within me but buried by love for somebody who rejected me to instead date my worse enemy. Did I see Narcissa as somebody to love as more than a sister even back then? But she was taken with Lucius who didn't waste much time to claim her as his own.

I was in awe of Lucius Malfoy. He never feared reprisals from Gryffindors. But I never asked for his help in dealing with Potter and his friends. I always fought them on my own. It is they who were cowards, always attacking in groups, but when I caught them alone, mostly that idiot Peter Pettigrew I showed them I can defeat them.

I push memories of school out of my mind. There are many painful memories there. I hated school. I was never appreciated for my talents, my accomplishments, never. Always overshadows by Potter, pretty boy Potter and his friend Sirius Black. They always thought they were better than anybody else. I know for a fact I achieve grades as good as Potter in everything though I had to work hard to get them. Potions was where I excelled with little effort but even then, Potter was the one to stand out. Lily was too but I never begrudged her that.

I still do not know why Narcissa decided to take me under her wing. To be a friend and sister but she never tried to protect me, letting me fight my battles but she was always there when I needed a friend. When Lily was unavailable and I managed t keep my feelings for Lily a secret from everybody. Even my friends in Slytherin never realized how I felt about her. Till she took exception to my friends, to the cruelties they talked about regarding Muggleborns. I should have foreseen the problem since Lily was a Muggleborn. SHe knew she would never be accepted in my world and thus rejected my love, my friendship.

Perhaps the Dark Lord was correct, Lily was never worthy of me.

No, I have learned enough about Muggleborns to know they can be just as powerful and any Pureblood and not all the great wizards and witches of history have been Pureblood. Though I have yet to know of a Muggleborn reaching greatness as have Purebloods I definitely know halfbloods have achieved much. The Dark Lord was a Halfblood. But he was also insane, less than human, consumed by the ancient Dark Magic in his mad quest for immortality. In the end, he was more snake than man, broken souled and ruined. For all his power, the Dark Lord fell to a boy barely come of age.

Lily is avenged. I am over her and my heart lies empty, broken long ago but now mended. Why does it turn to my sister for love I cannot claim?

I killed a good friend. Albus Dumbledore was dying by an evil curse only my skill at fighting such things keeping him alive though I could not remove the curse completely. it was a powerful one but giving what the ring was and made into, he was lucky it didn't kill him instantly. Even then he was foolish, took a long time to call for my aid. I was able to slow the curse but it was still slowly eating him alive. He wouldn't have survived to see Potter's final year of school. When he learned about Draco's assignment, Albus gave me the task. Kill him before Draco can, to protect the boy's soul. I refused. Albus called upon my promise to him and I was forced to comply. I do not give my word freely and when I do give it, I do not break it.

After two years of being on the run, friendless and hunted, I returned and gained pardon for what I did to Albus. I am a free man. I now could see a friend I solely missed. I had also hoped to reunite with another man who I considered close, like a brother in law. Lucius Malfoy. He refused to see me, kept his distance...even when our paths crossed he was distant, talking to me only because it was necessary.

He is distrustful of me because I am free and he is not. I can only assume he feels I will betray him, turn him in to the Aurors, or allow myself to be used to get at him. I think Lucius's time in Azkaban has addled his brains. Now, his jealousy of my friendship with his wife is strong despite Narcissa's assurances he accepted our friendship. Lucius never accepted, he is only saying he has to placate Narcissa but I have to admit, he has changed. He is not the cruel controlling man I knew while the Dark Lord reigned. Yet I still sense the cruelty is still within him, I sensed it earlier today. I worry for Narcissa but with her House elf permitted to come to me should Lucius be cruel to Narcissa I feel comforted.

Narcissa is my last true friend. I will do everything and anything to protect her. I am afraid I am falling in love with her. I am even more afraid I have always been in love with her but only now am starting to realize it.

Albus is right, I have been alone too long.

I feel incomplete, half a man, totally unable to do something men half my age have no trouble mastering. How to find a girlfriend.

I am in my early forties, I have taught for 16 years and most women close to my age I either went to school with or taught at Hogwarts. Most will be married by now, with children that I have taught for part or all of their time at school. They will know my reputation, what a grumpy surly teacher I am, favoring my Slytherings, demanding respect and known for cruelty and being unfair. They will know I murdered Albus Dumbledore, some may even accept the reasons behind it as announced in the Daily Prophet. Will they even want anything to do with me?

I know Minerva has been getting letters from countless parents protesting her giving me a teaching position. Some have even pulled their students from Hogwarts because of it. How am I going to be able to find a witch that I like when most won't even want to be in the same room, much less talk to me.

I realize I am being ridiculous. Not every witch in Great Britain reads the Daily Prophet and many who do may not believe what is written. I can walk in public without people screaming 'murderer' at me or showing any form of violence. I am making my reputation worse than it probably is. I have never been a very social person outgoing person, avoiding large crowds in favor of smaller gatherings among friends.

Narcissa told me before I left to find a date. Perhaps I should. I know next to nothing about dating but I cannot find one hiding at Hogwarts, in my home or Narcissa's home. I will have to go out and mingle in other circles till I meet a witch I find attractive and interesting. But where?

The Crystal Chamber comes to mind but I discard it immediately. That is Draco's place and he is bound to notice I am there even if I don't request to see him. It would be rude of me to go to his club and not say hello and I certainly do not plan to tell Draco I am there looking for a date. He is my godson it is I who he should be coming to for advice about women, not the other way around. But his club is not the only kind around and some must cater or single witches and wizards.

I consider asking Charlie if he knows of any such clubs but I discard that ideal as well. Charlie learned enough about my personal life he doesn't need to know I am clueless about dating. Bad enough he knows I do not know anything about women.

Lucius would know of single witches of good standing suitable for me.

I realize how much it hurts he has rejected my friendship. He is the last male friend I trusted out of all our former comrades. He rejects me because of his jealousy when he should have offered his friendship and thus not isolate himself away. I doubt I would have lost myself and kissed Narcissa if Lucius had joined us for dinner. I may not have taken Narcissa to St. Mungos if Lucius was with us when I realized how bad her injury had become. The times we talked he was always distant, quick to leave, unwilling to renew our friendship. Now I don't trust him either but I will miss having him as a friend.

My life has changed...everything I have cared about save for Narcissa is gone.

Even those who controlled and commanded me are gone. Albus Dumbledore and the Dark Lord. I spied upon one for the other while living the pretense of doing the opposite. I had to bury every emotion, hide every thought till I looked cold and empty. I have neither to hide from anymore...I am a free man and not just by law.

What good is being free if you have nobody to share it with?

I have Narcissa...but she is a friend and must always remain so. I need to find a soul mate or at least a witch I can love enough to want to spend my time with, to grow old and die with. I know what I need but I have no clue how to get it.

Talk to them, ask questions, relax, be yourself... all suggestions both Albus and Narcissa have told me. How can I be myself when I don't know myself any more? I am consumed by desires I find foreign, unable to understand them. I am no longer the man I used to be, no longer burdened by guilt, tasked to do dangerous missions, my life on a thin thread of deception and lies, covering myself with layers of occlumency till the point I felt like a shell. Even when the Dark Lord fell and the years before he returned once more, I never dropped the mask. It was necessary. Albus knew he will come back, I had to be prepared. I still had to hide from my Death Eater comrades, those who have not ended up in Azkaban. Lucius was cruel during those times. I remember now. Though I didn't see it often in his thoughts, when I looked I did. There were times I tried to communicate with Narcissa, only to be told she was unwell, or away visiting and knew it all to be lies. When I asked about those times, Narcissa was always guarded but I could see the pain in her eyes and her fear. She is stronger now but I am more worried for her than ever before.

One thing I know, is if Lucius even considered doing anything like what he did to Narcissa in the past, I would not let him. His cruelty is too much like how my father was. Being a Muggle he always used physical violence but that wasn't his only method. He also demeaned my mother, mocked her, told her how worthless she was, he knew she was a witch and his prosecution of her terrified her so much she didn't do any magic. The only time she could do magic was when she was alone with me. To know Lucius was still capable of similar torments angered me now much more than it ever did in the past. I never questioned Lucius about his treatment of his wife, my friend. I didn't like it, but I didn't interfere. I respected Lucius, respected his position and family name. It was he who introduced me to the Dark Lord and ensured I was worthy to take the mark.

I realize my early thought was wrong. I wouldn't just stop Lucius from harming Narcisssa, I would make him regret even thinking about doing it to her again. I remember words Narcissa spoke to me when we talked several months ago not long after I was pardoned. She had told me she learned how to stand her ground against her Mother-in-Law and this strength had threatened Lucius when he escaped prison and rejoined her. She had told me Lucius was threatened by her independence and sought control by getting her pregnant. Narcissa never explained just what potion Lucius used to ensure she did become pregnant. Lucius was willing to risk physically harming his wife by giving her strong potions of fertility even though she was taking contraceptive potions, just to gain some semblance of control. I should inquire more about what happened between Narcissa and Lucius that resulted in her being pregnant and why Narcissa is convinced Lucius has changed.

I decide to take a Muggle shower, since my home is equipped with such. Though I could simply cleanse myself with magic I do enjoy a plain old Muggle shower time to time and my house was equipped with all the regular plumbing. Once clean I dress in my typical black robes with a white frilled shirt underneath which fits me snugly. Over this i place my voluminous cover cloak with so many students claim make me look like a great black bat. I consider dressing in finer clothing but decide against it. I do not like to wear formal dress robes if I can help it. Though I am not as slim as I was during school I am far from considering myself overweight or out of shape. I look in the grubby mirror over the sink and contemplate trying to do something with my hair. I decide not to. Past attempts have only made me look ridiculous and I lack the skill to do much more than treating my hair as I have always done, brushed straight so it hangs like a curtain from my head. I am not going to spend hours prettying up my hair like some poof like Lockhart.

I feel ridiculous going to a pub to look for a woman to ask on a date. I have no skill in this. I should just return to Hogwarts and see what work I have waiting for me. But I cannot. Now is not to the time to be hesitant, I need to find somebody I can end my loneliness with who is not already married. A single witch that I find attractive and tolerable to be around. I cannot create one out of a cauldron, I have to seek them out there among the vast wizarding population.

Before I change my mind I quickly apparate to Diagon Alley and make my way into the throng of wizards and witches going about their business during an early Friday evening. As I already discarded the Crystal Chamber as a place to seek a mate, I instead search for other places where I hope to find single witches I can speak with and get to know. Soon I find such a place and enter, letting my eyes adjust to the low lights. The place is very busy, music is provided by a band I do not recognize though the song is tolerable enough. Not the classical music Narcissa played on her violin but not the hard screaming noise bands like the 'Weird Sisters'. I suppose most people find the noise something they can dance too as I see the dance floor is packed.

I move to a spot where i can observe the activities of the pub and search for a witch I find attractive who doesn't appear to be here with their boyfriends or husbands. Then I spot a familiar face. Katie Bell, one of my former students. Though I recall she is Muggleborn she was a good student and did well in Quidditch, even if she was in Gryffindor. But she is attractive and kept out of trouble in school to my knowledge. Perhaps she will be interesting to date.

Rude Awaking

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 18:10:34 GMT

I hear a hushed, intense whisper. "What the hell are you doing here with my wife, Snape?" I open my eyes in the sunlight soaked room to see Lucius standing over me, an angry scowl on his face.

Squinting in the glare from the sun, it takes me a moment to realize where I am, but I am fully awake and tense for action long before I see I am sitting on the floor, Narcissa nestled against my chest fast asleep. The shock of what this must look like to Lucius hits me hard, and I barely keep from leaping to my feet and spilling Narcissa onto the floor. Instead I remain still and look up at Lucius calmly.

"Absolutely nothing," I reply softly.

His frustration and anger is at odds with his desire to leave Narcissa out of this. With his wand he casts a hover charm on Narcissa and lifts her off me, her head flopping back loosely. He sets her on the bed, then whispers to me. "Let's talk outside of this room. I will deal with her later."

As soon as Narcissa is lifted away, I get to my feet and pull out my wand, but I keep it hidden from sight. Now isn't the time to get into a duel with Lucius. Though I am confident I can defeat him, the fight won't be easy, nor do I wish to harm him. Narcissa would not appreciate it. However I do not like the tone Lucius uses when he says he will deal with her later. Once he settles Narcissa down on the bed to continue her sleep undisturbed, I keep my full attention on Lucius. If he plans to magically attack, I want to have as much warning as possible and thus I bring all my abilities to bear.

"I agree," I reply, again in a soft whisper, but I do not move. I have no intention of turning my back on Lucius. He can lead to where he wants to talk.

Lucius backs out of the door, wand still pointed at me, then waits for me to exit. We walk cautiously to the library.

"Now, explain to me what you were doing sleeping with my wife!" he demands, after shutting the door behind me with a jerk of his wand.

"First, I was not 'sleeping' with your wife in the manner you are assuming." I tell him calmly. "We were talking and fell asleep. You are jumping to conclusions, Lucius."

"Second, I would never even consider taking advantage of Narcissa; she's a sister to me, nothing more. Nor will she permit me to even attempt such a thing. It is you she is in love with."

His face looks slightly appeased. "My wife has been avoiding me for days, yet I come up here to talk to her and find her asleep with you. What am I supposed to think?" I can feel his jealousy radiating from behind his eyes.

"I perfectly understand why you came to the wrong conclusions." I agree with Lucius. I don't think I would have reacted much differently if our roles were reversed. But I have to be careful in what I tell him next. I certainly cannot tell him why his wife was avoiding him the last few days. That would be more than enough excuse for Lucius to attack, and I am not prepared to explain why I kissed his wife. It is better he never find out.

"I came over because I noticed your wife was exhausted, and I wanted to find out why. We talked, and next thing I know she fell asleep while I was talking. Apparently I was more tired than I thought, things have been hectic at school, and I have not been getting sleep much lately either."

Thinking about school reminded me it's day time on a school day. I check my watch and see it is already time for first class and I am still here. "Speaking of which, if you excuse me a moment, I need to send a message to the school that I will be late."

Turning slightly away from Lucius, I cast my Patronus and nearly drop my wand in surprise. I am impressed I didn't drop the spell as well. Instead of my usual soft eyed doe, I find a large black bear looking at me. I have not seen this form since my first attempts to produce a corporeal Patronus. Why it reverted now I do not know, but I don't have time to consider the implications. Focusing on the bear, I give it instructions, and it lumbers off before vanishing. Turning back to Lucius, I wait to continue our conversation.

"I take it you two worked out your differences then," he says.

Apologizing to Narcissa

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 02:44:50 GMT

Acting on Charlie's advice I head out to Hogsmeade a few days later, avoiding the Three Broomsticks as I search for a Floral shop. Fortunately I don't have to search for too long. Stepping inside I find the place filled with flowers and plants of all kinds and their pungent fragrance assaults my nose. I really can't understand why females like flowers, but if it will make Narcissa feel better and give strength to my apology, then I will buy the lot if needed.

A witch approaches me and offers to be of assistance so I describe to her what I am looking for. I am sure she realizes just how clueless I am and tries to sell me the biggest bunch of flowers she has, not the mention the most expensive ones. Her first suggestion is two dozen roses, but even I know that wouldn't be appropriate. I want to apologize to Narcissa, not court her. Finally I settle on a bouquet of mixed flowers, including some of the species I noticed in her gardens.

Once the flowers are purchased I magically shrink them and put them in a pocket. I am not fool enough to walk around Hogsmeade, much less around the school with a bunch of flowers in hand. So far Charlie has kept silent about finding me indisposed the other day, which is wise of him, but I am not going to take chances. Rumours abound at Hogwarts as it is; I certainly don't want to be included.

The florist was also nice enough to point me in the right direction to find a shop that sells sweets and pastries of better standard than Honeydukes. She points me to a tea shop where they serve fine teas and also sell them as well as fine pastries. I recognize the name as the place students go with dates to spend a romantic day oogling and snogging where teachers are not likely to find them. Not that every teacher in the school doesn't know dating students go to Madame Puddifoot's tea shop. As this isn't a weekend, the place is nearly empty, with just locals enjoying tea and acting more like proper witches and wizards.

It doesn't take me long to find some ginger pastries, covered in fine chocolate imported from Belgium. Not being an expert on chocolate, I can only hope the cost is an indication of quality.

Shopping done, I don't waste any time getting back to Hogwarts and preparing my apology. It doesn't take me long to realize the shopping part was the easy part.

After many tries I finally settle on a message. I am no better at writing apologies than I am understanding women.

My dearest Narcissa,

I cannot bear the thought of you being so hurt by my actions, and this has preyed upon me since we last talked. I do now realize that I was wrong in this matter. I should not have done what I did without at least trying more to convince you of the wisdom of going to St. Mungo's for treatment.

I apologize to you and will do so in person if permitted. I hope these items I have included give some indication of my regrets for what I have done.

Your friend and 'brother' always,

Severus Snape

I reread the letter several times and am not completely satisfied with it. I am not one to apologize, but Charlie's suggestion that I make the effort to seems sound. I just hope Narcissa understands the intent instead of the bad wording of the thing.

Folding the letter neatly and securing it to the large bouquet of mixed flowers, including what I remembered are Narcissa's favorites based on what I've seen growing in her garden: Dragon's blood sedum, lavender centered replete narcissus, blue columbine, and green double auriculas. (I learned what the names were from Sprout.) I secure the note, flowers and a box of chocolate covered ginger pastries to a large school owl and send it off. I continue to watch the image of the owl with its unusual package till it vanishes from sight, then I return to my office to work till I get a response, if any.

Two hours later I recognize Narcissa's owl Perseus tapping at my window. She carries a note.

My Dear Severus,

Of course I forgive you. The flowers and sweets were a lovely, and very gentlemanly, touch. You chose my favorite flowers. How did you know? The dark chocolate covered ginger pastry was exactly what I was craving.

Thank you so much.

I hope to see you soon. Perhaps you would join me for dinner?

Fondly,

Narcissa

Reading Narcissa's note fills me with joy. Charlie's suggestion paid off. I will have to remember this trick next time Narcissa and I have a disagreement, though I hope it never happens again. My little binge after our disagreement is not something I feel like repeating.

Taking a clean piece of parchment I quickly write a reply.

Dear Narcissa:

It pleases me greatly that you enjoyed the flowers and pastries, but most of all that you forgive me. I will be happy to join you for dinner; just say when and I will be there.

Your friend always,

Severus

Attaching the note to Perseus's leg I send her back to her Mistress. Life suddenly feels bearable again.

Why I Never Drink

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 04:27:55 GMT

Hogsmeade. I suddenly find myself before the Hog's Head Tavern, and I am surprised I am here in one piece. I have just left Malfoy Manor having been politely, but firmly, asked to leave and not to come back. The burning anger at Narcissa's lack of appreciation of my efforts, and her subsequent sense of betrayal still churns in my gut. Of all people, I thought she would understand why I did what I did, and why I did it in the way I did, but no matter how I explained she only takes it as a betrayal.

Was I wrong? Should I have looked for Lucius to assist? But in truth, what could he do? He is wanted and if he was even suspected of being anywhere near St. Mungo's, every Auror in the area will be popping in to arrest him. No, I did what was necessary given the resources I had. Narcissa is being unreasonable, but why do I feel like I lost the last remaining person in this world that means more to me than life itself?

I nearly step into the Hog's Head Tavern before I remember exactly who runs the place, and it stops me in my tracks. I wouldn't put it past Aberforth to try and poison me for what I did to his older brother. Cursing under my breath I turn and head back into the heart of Hogsmeade. There is only one other tavern in this useless little town and even though it disgusts me utterly, I find I am once again planning to do something I haven't done since I lost Lily. Since I caused her death because I was too eager to prove how important I could be.

Bursting into the Three Broomsticks I ignore the patrons and find a seat in the back where I am least likely to be disturbed. Fortunately the matron of the tavern does see me and wonders over to me.

"Professor Snape, I have to say you are one of the last people I expected to find in my Tavern," she says and I scowl at her. Apparently my expression is enough to convince her to dispense with the small talk. "What can I get you, Professor Snape?"

"Your finest wine." I reply. I could never stomach fire whiskey. Wine at least has the pretense of being less likely to get somebody drunk. My disadvantage is I haven't drank more than a glass or two of the stuff since she died. "Just bring a decanter; I'd rather not have to flag you down every few minutes."

"This is not a side I expected to see of you," she tells me in surprise but doesn't linger for a response from me. Once she is gone I take a few minutes to scan the Tavern. For the most part the faces are unfamiliar. Good, that suits me perfectly. A few minutes later she returns with a wine goblet and a decanter of wine. I flip her a Galleon which she takes and returns to the bar. I don't even know if I should be expecting change and find I really don't care.

I pour myself a goblet of wine and stare into its ruby depths for some time before I drain it. A second goblet follows before I let the wine's flavor actually penetrate my taste buds. Lucius would be shocked that I have treated a decent wine with such disrespect. Narcissa would wonder what was bothering me...

Narcissa...

I find my thoughts back on her, the look of tear-filled hurt, her words telling me I betrayed her trust. It's like I feel a knife stab me...this pain is so much like the pain I felt nearly twenty years ago....Again my anger boils and I mentally roar *How dare she not see what I risked for her? How dare she try an make what I did a betrayal when I had to kill to ensure her secret was safe!*

A crack splits the air, and a sharp pain breaks me out of the burning haze of anger coursing through me. Looking down, I am surprised to see the goblet shattered and fragments have embedded themselves into my hand. I am not sure if I squeezed the goblet so hard it broke, or if I let my magic get away from me. The idea I lost control over my magic concerns me. It is enough to push away the anger long enough for me to remove the pieces of earthenware from my hand and cast a simple healing spell to heal the injuries. I flex my hand satisfied I didn't leave anything in that shouldn't be there.

I contemplate calling the waitress...Rosemerta; her name finally comes to me to get me another goblet then decide there is no point. I could easily mend it with a wave of my wand but decide I don't want to make the effort to repair it. Reaching for the decanter I drink straight from it. I suddenly feel like my father...the drunken bastard. Figures the legacy he gave me is a fiery temper and a tendency to drink when things are the worse. My only consolation is after tonight I will most likely not drink another drop of alcohol for another twenty years.

Aristocratic Stubbornness

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 03:58:57 GMT

Dearest Severus:

I thank you for your kind words and concern over my well being, but I must ask you to wait; now is not a good time for a visit.

Soon I will contact you, and we can catch up.

Yours,

Narcissa.

I crumple up the note in frustration. Why is she being so difficult? This is the third such letter Narcissa sent me after I request permission to come visit her, and each time she says she is tired, too busy, or just not up to a visit. I am starting to feel real concern. Has that book consumed so much of her time now that she has not a moment to spare for an old friend? Is Lucius preventing her from seeing me?

Carefully I smooth out the note and study the hand written letter and recognize Narcissa's handwriting. If it is a forgery, it is a really good one. I do not see Lucius going to all the trouble to forge a letter in Narcissa's hand just to prevent me from seeing her.

But this consistent refusal to let me visit irks me, and I decide to hell with it. By now Narcissa would have added my hair to her wards so I can pass them without an escort. She can't deny seeing me if I am at her front door. But I am no fool and take a few minutes to prepare another message:

Dear Narcissa:

I cannot take yet another 'no'. Never before have you refused me so often the common courtesy of visiting. By the time you read this note I will be at your front door.

Severus.

I attach the note to a school owl and send it on its way. Moments later I am standing outside the warded entrance to Malfoy manor. Even without making an effort, I can feel the power of the magical wards wrapped around the front gate. I approach slowly, focusing my attention on those very wards. I certainly do not feel like being expelled half way across the countryside if the wards reject me. But as I reach for the gate, I feel the wards lose their menacing sensations, and I open the gate and pass through freely. Closing and latching the gate behind me, I head across the front yard and towards the main door. Albino peacocks stride out of my path as I make my way up to the main door. I strike the knocker and wait for the door to open. I am not so worried about Narcissa to insult her by breaking through her front door, so I give her this last moment to continue to refuse allowing me to visit.

Encounter with Young Mr. Nott

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 07:06:39 GMT

I find myself in Diagon Alley moving through the crowds of evening shoppers and people closing up for the night. It is not easy to get out of Hogwarts early enough to get to Diagon Alley before the shops close but today I was able to. But I need to focus my time to locating Bellatrix before her next strike at Narcissa proves successful. Now that I know she has that dog Greyback at her beck and call I am more concerned about her safety. The wards of her manor should be more than enough to keep Bellatrix and her lackeys out but I worry she will find a way to get around the wards.

Ducking behind a group of witches I slip into Knockturn Alley. There are some things I need to get which are not found in the shops in Diagon Alley. Pulling the hood of my robes over me head to better blend into the crowds in the alley, I work my way deeper into the seedy side of the wizard shopping center.

I'm knocked to one side as a young wizard pushes past, unlike the other patrons of Knockturn Alley he makes no attempt to disguise himself and I recognize him instantly. Nott. One of my former pupils.

I quicken my stride and place my hand on the young Nott's shoulder and pull him to face me. "You seem to be in a hurry, Mr. Nott." I hiss keeping my voice low. In this place drawing attention to yourself was never a good ideal.

"When someone seems to be in a hurry, it would be polite not to delay them." He growls quietly, twisting out of my grip. "As it is, there is no fire, what do you want?" He snaps.

"Normally I do not try and delay them but I do not like former students plowing past me. It is rather rude, even for this place." I smirk and lift my head enough for Theo to see my features. "This place suits you Mr. Nott but I did not expect to see you here."

"I should not think it is my presence here you should be worried about. Seems a little suspicious for the recently exhonorated to be skulking around Knockturn Alley," he sneers. "One would almost believe the Minister had made an error in her judgement."

"There is no law against being in this Alley," I retort. "Otherwise the Ministry would just close it down."

"Besides, as Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor it is my duty to keep tabs on what new items come available which I should be teaching my students to be aware of."

He doesn't seem surprised by my new job, instead he just shrugs, "Ministry could try to close it down...but there will always be room for naughty men to sneak about and they'd just open up somewhere else."

Theodore's answer amuses me. He was not this witty while I taught him but perhaps being a man now has changed him. Or perhaps it is because he is no longer in the shadow of Draco Malfoy. "You do have a very valid point, Mr. Nott."

"Do you frequent this area often?" I decide to ask.

"As often as business requires it. Like yourself, there are certain duties which allow for perfectly innocent visits to such a shady neighbourhood."

"Of course." I decide to switch to other topics as I am sure Theo will not elaborate on what business he is conducting here. "If you have some minutes to spare it will be nice to know how you are doing, now you are a full grown wizard and not just a student."
His eyes narrow, untrusting. "So much interest now and yet so little before when my education was in your hands...very well, what do you wish to know?"

"I am not the same man I was when I taught you Potions or Defense, Theo." I reply. "Much has changed in my life. Thus I find I am more interested in learning about the current lives of my former Slytherins, though I know better to ask personal details."
"From your earlier comments I must assume you have your own business now?"

He smirks. "Of a sorts. Though it is usually busier than sitting back instructing others what to do as in most businesses."
"Taking care of things yourself is one way to be certain no mistakes are made." I reply with a smirk. "Business has been good I hope?"

He frowns and glances around, "It has been well enough. A few teething problems, but I was fortunate to have a business partner to assist me through those."

I remember suddenly the conversation I had with Draco a few weeks ago which had been niggling me since I recognized Theodore pushing away from me through the crowd. As I couldn't recall why I wanted to talk to him I made small talk hoping it will come to me. Now it did.

"A business partner? Anybody I may know?" I ask looking at Theodore closely as I Legilimens him to hear what he is thinking. Though I do know who his business partner is or at least was, I want to see if he will be honest.

"You should know, Miss Parkinson was a pupil of yours at the same time Draco and myself were."

"Ah yes Miss Parkinson, I do remember her. I do hope you are being respectful with her as your business partner." I reply with a knowing smirk. "And speaking of young Mr. Malfoy, he is engaged to Miss Parkinson he has informed me recently."

"Yes I noticed, though curiously he bragged about owning a nice shiney new club before even passing comment that he's engaged to such a treasure." He shrugs, ignoring my comment about respect.

"Perhaps he assumed you would already know." I retort. "You did, afterall spend 7 years of schooling with both not to mention knowing Draco even before that."

He tenses slightly, "Yes, curiously long friendship, I'm very fortunate."

"I suspect you do not remember much of those times?" I notice how he tensed, obviously he doesn't like to think of his past. Most likely due to how his father up and abandoned him. Sometimes I wish mine did. I would have lived happier with just my mother around.

He growls and I see his wand arm move, though it is hidden by his cloak so I can't see whether or not he is armed. "Stay out of my mind, Professor." Then he sighs, "Everything after my mother died when I was eight up to the point I started Hogwarts is somewhat of a blur, or missing all together."

"It seems we have that much in common, a childhood we prefer to forget completely." I reply easing up a little on reading his thoughts. My skill at Legilimens is enough I do not have to push hard to see images, especially from an unguarded mind but Theo has a natural resistance I am having difficulty getting past without him noticing. It doesn't help that we are standing in a busy alley with quite a bit of activity moving about around us. I fold my arms across my chest which effectively puts my hand right where I store my wand in my robes. "Perhaps we should continue our discussion in a less busy location. There is a pub not far from here and I am sure you can use something to drink to relax."

He lowers his arm, "And give you a more peaceful setting to examine my thoughts without distraction, making it easier to bypass any ability I have to block you as I did that Lestrange witch? Adding alcohol to the mix to weaken my defenses...it would not be very Slytherin of me to fall for that."

"You have seen Bellatrix?" I ask, targeting the one important thing he mentioned. "When? Where?"

"November 23rd, Midnight Apothecary."

"What did she want there?" I demand. This boy encountered Bellatrix and lived? "And just what did she read from your mind?"
"I have my thoughts invaded by one Death Eater so I'm going to willingly reveal them to another?" He looks highly amused by this, almost laughing at me. "She wanted a potion to make Narcissa Malfoy more compliant, don't worry, once I found out as much as I could, I took care of it."

The boy's mocking tone infuriates me but I restrain myself. As long as he keeps talking then he less likely to face reprisals for his cheek. "Just how did you take care of it?" I ask, narrowing my eyes as I do my best to read his face. I don't see Bellatrix just letting the boy go after learning her plans for Narcissa.

"I sent her a potion. She can add it to her food and drink without risking any harm to herself or anyone else and it will warn her if the food has been drugged."

"That was noble of you to do, Mr. Nott." I state but eye him suspiciously. Narcissa never mentioned she learned her food may be drugged by Bellatrix. But there is still something I sense he is hiding and that is concerning me. With two strides I close the distance between me and him and unfold my arms from my chest at the same time drawing my wand and put it to his throat while I force back into the side of a building. "Just why is it Mr. Nott, Bellatrix let you walk away with this knowledge alive?"

"Because Professor, unlike you, I know how to play nice to get the information I want." He smacks my wand away. "Don't try to intimidate me, I've delt with people alot more frightening than my old Head of House, ex-Death Eater or not."

"You have grown even more arrogant than ever, Mr. Nott." I snarl and step back so slapping my wand away will not be such an easy task. I keep it out but lowered, not yet ready to let this arrogant pup a chance to draw his own wand. "Perhaps you think you are untouchable now that you have your own business and have nobody to answer to but yourself. But be warned, striking up any deals with Bellatrix will be a bad career move on your part. Another thing, how I treated students at Hogwart's is nothing to how I treat my enemies. Do not make the error of becoming my enemy or joining my enemies."

Deciding i have nothing else to say to the boy I step back and turn into the flow of the crowd making it that much more difficult for him to decide to hex me in the back without hitting others in the process. I hope for his sake, Theo keeps his curses to himself.

Hunting for Bellatrix

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 18:52:42 GMT

The dark alley reeks of the filth of human waste and rubbish, and I am tempted to use a cleaning spell to disperse the stench. But doing so may upset the contact I am to meet in this area, and it took me long enough to track him down. The little rat was not easy to find; I just hope he proves useful enough to make all this trouble worthwhile.

Scanning the area I spot a particularly scruffy looking rat with a rather unique looking silver paw watching me from the shelter between two cardboard boxes.

"I see you Wormtail," I tell him. "You might as well come out and transform so we can talk face to face."

I watch as Wormtail considers this with impatience. I am tempted to just use a spell to immobilize him and force him to transform so I can get his discussion done and over with. From past associations with this filth it seems that is the only way to get him to obey simple commands. But before I cast the spells Wormtail does the smart thing and transforms.

"Severus, it has been a long time," he tells me once he reverts to his normal appearance. I really don't find it much of an improvement, there is still much that is rat about him from his buck teeth, twitchy movements and mangy look.

"I am surprised you are still alive, Wormtail; I had thought the Dark Lord would have killed you long ago, yet here you are, living among the other rats." I smirk. "But then again that seems to be how you enjoy life."

"Did you just want to insult me, Severus?" Wormtail pouts. "I do have better things to do with my time."

"Like you I have better things to do with my time then come here solely to insult you so let me get straight to the point." I tell him. "I need you to do what you do best, Wormtail, gather information."

"Information on what?" He looks at me suspiciously.

"Information on whom, actually," I reply with a smirk. "I want you to put your overly large ears to the ground and find out everything you can about the Lestranges, especially Bellatrix." As I expect Wormtail pales at the very mention of her.

"She will kill me if she finds me!" Wormtail quails, backing away from me. Before he can move a step back I immobilize him. He is so predictable it is not even worth the effort of reading his thoughts to see his intentions.

"Then don't get caught Wormtail." I tell him. "Bellatrix thinks you are no better than vermin, she is never going to consider you a threat nor give you a second glance if she notices a rat scurrying around her hiding place. But it isn't her you need to worry about now that I have found you, Wormtail. I can easily turn you in to the Aurors and find myself another informant to get the information I am looking for."

"Just what do you want me to find out Severus?" Wormtail quails, powerless against the bindings holding him in place and preventing him from transforming back into a rat. "I am no match for Bellatrix or her husband!"

"I am not asking you to fight her or the Lestranges," I say with a sigh. "Use your resources, your little rodent friends, listen to the gossip and find them for me. I especially want to know where Bellatrix is hiding out but I will take her husband or brother-in-law for starters. Just find out where I can find her, that is all you need to do Wormtail."

"And what is in it for me?" He asks, as usual fishing for a personal benefit. "How do I know you just won't turn me over to the Aurors as soon as I tell you want you want?"

"To be honest, Wormtail ,you have no way to know if I won't turn you in. But I can assure you on this and you can bet your life on it, if you try and betray me, or leak information to the Lestranges on our deal or even I am looking for them, then you will have me to deal with. I found you once I can certainly find you again."

"However, if you do give me information that leads me to one or all of the Lestranges, then I will see what I can do to ensure your life is better than it is now."

"Just what do you mean make my life better?" Wormtail asks me, his eyes light up.

"I will pay you for what your information is worth, Wormtail." I tell him. "Scrounging around garbage with the other rats can't be much of a living for you."

"How can I contact you when I find what you want?" Wormtail asks after he considers my offer.

"Just rub the medallion on this chain and I will know you are looking for an audience with me. I will then contact you to arrange a place to meet." I tell him as I hang the necklace around his neck. I don't say anything about the fact I can locate Wormtail anywhere he is as long as he is wearing the medallion. That information he doesn't need to know at all for several reasons. "Wear it around your neck and it will shrink with you when you transform into a rat. I don't think anybody will notice it while you are in rat form so I doubt it will make you stand out any more than you already do as a rat. At least anybody who knows what your rat form looks like."

"You better not be setting me up for anything Severus," he says sullenly. I can tell Wormtail doesn't want to help but the prospect of money for just sniffing around for information appeals to him. Or he is just worried I will not hesitate to torture or kill him if he doesn't do as I ask. He after all knows I am a Death Eater, or at least was before the Dark Lord was destroyed.

"Just do as you are asked and you have nothing to fear from me Wormtail." I tell him.

"Can I go now?" he asks me tentatively, since I have yet to actually release him from the binding spell.

Without saying another word I flick the tip of my wand and release the binding spell. Wormtail wobbles a bit as he regains his balance then looks down at the necklace I put around his neck. It is a rather plain medallion of no value whatsoever. I made sure I enchanted a worthless trinket as I suspect anything of possible value he would have sold off and claim he lost it when I caught up with him again. Now I made sure he won't be tempted to sell it but he certainly could simply discard it somewhere but I don't think he will. My threat is more than enough to keep him in line. There is no hope in hell that Bellatrix would take Wormtail into her protection. She loaths the little man as much as I do. I just happen to find it not worth my time to hunt Wormtail down to kill off, at least till I actually found a use for him.

"I expect to hear something form you in a week's time, Wormtail." I tell him. "So don't waste time."

Wormtail nods and transforms back into a rat. A moment later I see him streak into a sewer drain and vanish from sight. Once I am sure he is gone, I turn and apparate out of the alleyway.

About an hour after I talked with Wormtail I am sitting in the Leaky Cauldron enjoying a lunch while I wait for one of my fellow members of the Order of the Phoenix. Or at least he was a member during the reign of Terror of the Dark Lord. I am not sure if Remus has recruited him in the current manifestation of the Order. This particular member I also consider beneath my attention but his network of criminal contacts makes him valuable. As I never tend to rely on a single source of information I am here waiting to meet with Mundungus Fletcher. It doesn't take long for him to slip into the room and search the crowd for me. Once he spots me he slinks over to my table and sits down, looking very uncomfortable.

"Hello Severus," he says quietly as he takes a seat. "You buying?"

"I had not intended to but because I did call this meeting I will pick up the tab, if reasonable." I agree. "It will only be good manners afterall."

He nods and signals for a waiter so I wait in silence while Fletcher gets himself something to eat and drink. Once the drink arrives I wait till the waiter is well out of earshot before turning my attention to my 'guest'.

"I have a task for you Fletcher which should be well within your means." I tell him, keeping my voice low, so low in fact he leans forward to hear what I am saying. "I need you to find somebody for me and you have more contacts in the, shall we say, lower echelons, than most wizards."

"I am listening, Severus," he states looking more curious at what I want of him than afraid. Though not as big a coward as Wormtail, Fletcher is no Gryffindor.

"I am looking for the wearabouts of the Lestranges. I am sure you remember who they are." At the mention of the Lestranges Mundungus goes pale and starts to shake his head.

"Forget it Severus, I am not going to mess with that lot so you can just forget it!" he rises from his chair but stops dead as I slam my hand down upon his shoulder, rising slightly in my chair to do so.

"Sit down Mundungus," I tell him firmly. "I am not going to ask you to try and take them down. In fact I don't want you anywhere near them."

"Oh, well in that case I am still listening." He sits down again and I pause as the waitress approaches with the meal Fletcher ordered. I wait till she leaves and he digs in.

"I want you to use your resources and see if you can dig up any information on where they are located and what they are up to." I tell him. "I especially want to know where i can find Bellatrix but I will be happy to find the other Lestranges."

"I don't think I can find that info for you, Severus." Fletcher said after a few minutes. "But I will do what i can. Those three are causing alot of trouble, same with Greyback. Everybody is looking for them and so far nobody has heard a thing about where they are."

"You have a knack of finding out information nobody else can, Mundungus," I remind him. "Besides, you will be well compensated for your troubles. This won't be like the past where all your hard work was little appreciated."

"Compensated you say?" He perks up interested. The Order of the Phoenix never paid much to its members but all were required to give their all. I know Mundungus would put more effort into this task if he felt he could make a good profit out of it.

"You won't be disappointed, is all I can say." I tell him with a knowing smirk. "Unlike the authorities or the Order, it won't be a trivial amont or just for the sake of knowing you did the right thing."

"You never struck me as being rich, Snape." He narrows his eyes at me. "How do I know you even have the coin to pay for this information?"

"I taught Potions at Hogwarts for nearly 16 years, Mundungus and I don't squander money on trivial things such as entertainment, fancy clothing or the like. While teaching all my needs were filled by the school so I had little to nothing to spend money on." I remind him. "I am once again teaching at Hogwarts so my income is quite secure."

"Good point," he says then finishes off his meal. I give him the time to think over my offer.

"I can't promise anything but I will see what I can find out."

"I knew I could count on you Mundungus." I tell him. "You can contact me via the usual Order methods or just send an owl to Hogwarts."

"Will do." He stats and downs his drink. Letting out a rather loud belch he wipes his mouth and rises. "Well, nice seeing you again Severus but I must be off, things to do and all that. Goodday."

"Good day." I reply and watch Mundungus slink out of the tavern.

I just hope both these potential sources of information don't bankrupt me.

A Man to Man Talk with Draco

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 22:42:16 GMT

It has been awhile since I visited Draco. By all reports he is hard at work getting his club fixed up to reopen.

After the day's classes are done with I take my leave of the school and see if Draco is still hard at work at the club. It takes me a few minutes to find a way inside but with all the workers coming and going, it isn't hard to just follow a group right inside.

Scanning the crowd of workers it is easy to spot the blond head of young Mr. Malfoy. I can also see there has been quite some progress in fixing the damage Bellatrix and the Lestranges did. Pursing my lips, I once again promise myself I will see her pay for her attacks.

"You are doing a great job restoring the place, Draco." I tell him as I approach.

"Thank you," he says, looking around. "It should be done soon."

"That is good to hear," I reply, actually looking forward to returning once it opened again. Though not one to go out alot, having a place such as this to arrange future meetings or just to hear what is happening in high society, will be beneficial. "I look forward to the re-opening."

"How have you been, Draco?" I ask, turning to look at my former student.

He looks around. "Let's go up to my office. This is not something I wish to discuss here."

I am surprised at this but decide not to inquire out in the open. Simply nodding my head, I follow Draco up to his office.

"What is this all about?" I ask as soon as Draco closes the door and turns to face me.

He gestures to the sitting area of his office and invites me to sit down. "Would you like some wine? I think I will have some."

I nod as I sit down and Draco soon comes to join me with two glasses of wine.

"I am finding myself in a difficult position," he says seriously. "Aunt Bellatrix not only messed up my club that night, but she also messed up my relationship with Pansy."

"How is that possible?" I ask, puzzled how the two relate. The only thing I can see is perhaps a foolish jealousy. "Surely Pansy is not jealous you pushed the Bell woman out from underneath the chandelier?"

He almost smiles. "No, but I've been spending a lot of time here. I feel as if I have something to prove. I have been falling asleep here in my office, and last Saturday night Pansy went to see Theo, in the middle of the night no less."

"In the middle of the night?" I frown at this. Even I know what that implies. "Do you suspect she is involved with this Theo?"

"She says she isn't. This would be Theodore Nott, I'm certain you remember him? He was in our year at Hogwarts. They were business partners while I was gone, and before I came back he left. Now he's back, and he has her working for him. I trust Pansy, but I do not trust him."

I sip my wand as I absorb this information. I remember Theodore Nott from school, that is certain. Not a bad potion maker if I recall correctly. I also remember who his father is. Interesting Nott's son was sniffing around Pansy but was he a threat to Draco and Pansy's relationship, that I do not know. Theo was not a bad looking boy as far as I was a judge of such things.

"Did she explain why she went to see young Mr. Nott in the middle of the night? A very odd time for a young lady to visit an old school friend." I then recall something Draco mentioned earlier. "Or does this have something to do with you staying at the club late at night?"

"It does," he says with a sigh. "I realized that I had been neglecting her and last night I returned to our flat specifically to make it up to her. I brought home food, a bottle of wine, flowers... everything. But when I got in the door, my house-elf informed me that she had left on Saturday night, or to be more precise Sunday morning at 3am and had not returned until the following day. I had instructed her to let me know if anything odd happened while I was not home, so she was doing her job."

"Did Pansy have a history with Nott, other than a business relationship?" I ask. Even to see a friend to talk to while upset because her boyfriend was sleeping at the club seemed excessive to do at 3 in the morning. No decent young woman would of good upbringing like Miss Parkinson would go visit a male friend alone, that late at night, even if it was totally without any ulterior motive. It just wasn't proper. But then again not many wizard and witches followed the old ways anymore.

Meeting with Remus

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 01:39:03 GMT

After my talk with Charlie I decide I will have to see

Remus as soon as possible. Though it surprised me he

would decide to restart the Order of the Phoenix much

less choose to lead it, I have to wonder if he will be

efficient as a leader.

To consider taking orders from Remus disturbs me,

giving our unpleasant past but I have to admit he did

well enough as Professor of Defense against the Dark

Arts several years ago, despite the fact my suspicions

about him letting Sirius into the castle. It still

gulls me that my accusations were ignored by Albus,

instead he took the word of Potter and his friends.

Now however, I have to learn to let that go. We are

not children at school anymore and Remus has proved

loyal to Dumbledore more often than I can count and it

is very possible Remus won't trust me any more than I

trust him.

In fact, I just don't see how he could have found the

fortitude to stand up for whats right much less be

able to lead. He certainly showed absolutely no

ability to do so when he was a Gryffindor Prefect in

school.

I sigh, I should know better not to drudge up the

past.  I have repaid my dept to Lily and I should move

past the pains of my past to new possibilities but it

is difficult to forgive those who I hated for as long

as I can remember. But I will need to do so now with

Remus, if I am to ensure I have a place within the

Order and direct him to give me the resources I need

to make tracking down Bellatrix faster.

It doesn't help to realize I have precious few friends

left in this world. In fact, I am only truly sure of

Narcissa as a friend. Lucius I am no longer certain

about. Of course I have my fellow Professors here at

Hogwarts but I always wondered if their signs of

friendship is more out of the fact Albus trusted me

and they trusted him so they gave me the benefit of

the doubt. Minerva I suspect now trusts me but whether

she considers me a friend, I am not sure.

Again I feel a pang of loneliness. My closest friend

is more like a sister to me than anything else but I

can't help thinking, if she had never married, would I

have considered her a potential wife? Or was I still

to much in love with Lily back then to even consider

another? Now I know there will never be anything

between Narcissa and I other than our brother/sister

love for each other.

She is also the only other woman besides Lily I care

about. I think I am now too old to look for somebody I

can love enough to want to form a relationship with. I

know I will never love anybody as deeply as I loved

Lily, but my tiny heart may have room for

somebody...if I can figure out how a man even looks

for love in others, I knew I loved Lily since the day

I first laid eyes on her when I was barely able to

comprehend what love is.

Why am I suddenly being so melancholy? It isn't like

me to dwell on these things. Maybe involving myself

with the Order is a bad thing if its going to dredge

up this sort of thoughts. No, I have already committed

myself by accepting Charlie's invitation and I do need

the resources the Order can provide me.

Moving to my desk I sit down and pull out a fresh

sheet of parchment and my black feather quill. Pausing

to recollect my thoughts I start to compose my letter

to Remus. It is short and to the point, I see no need

to chitchat in letter form with him. Sealing it I rise

and head out to the Owlry to pick a bird to deliver my

message.

Remus:

I need to speak to you as soon as is convenient

with you. Just give me a place and time and I will be

there.

Severus Snape,

Professor Defense Against the Dark Arts

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

It didn’t take long for me to hear back from Remus. His reply gave me a time and place to meet him. A few days later I set out to London.

Remus is waiting by The Leaky Cauldron; he insisted it would be the best place to talk privately, as there are enough people nobody quite pays attention.

He smiles benevolently as I approach, although the smile does not quite meet his eyes. "Good day, Severus."

"Hello Remus," I respond giving him a once over. He

looks well enough, better than usual in fact. Perhaps

married is agreeing with him. I am still not sure how

to treat him, the resentment of our shared passed

burns brightly still but I can't help but remind

myself he has two of his closest friends.

I take a seat across from him, giving the room a good

look before focusing onto Remus fully.

"It seems we are going to be working on the same side

again," I state, keeping my voice low enough that it

cannot be overheard by passerby’s. "Charlie tells me

you have decided to reform the Order with yourself as

leader."

"Yes," Remus says. "There have been several attacks. We need to be sure the war does not happen again. And we may need your help again."

"I find it surprising you decided to organize this,

Remus," I comment looking at him closely. "Taking the

mantel of leadership is not your typical way of doing

things. Usually you let other more capable people take

that role."

"However, if a new dark power is on the rise or will

be in the future, I will of course, do my part to stop

it. The scars from the last dark power have yet to

heal and I certainly do not want to relive the past

hardships again."

"I do not want old scars either," Remus says quietly. "But it can be avoided, if we both allow ourselves to open to others and tell the truth." The words "for instance, that you were always on our side" hung in the air, but he left them unspoken.

I am not sure what Remus is implying is a dig against

me or nothing so specific. In either cause I decide to

let it pass.

"You can count on my assistance," I confirm again. "I

have already told Charlie I will join with the Order

again. That was when I learned you are in charge.

There is something very specific I need the Order to

start looking into."

"The Death Eater, Bellatrix Lestrange, I am sure you

remember who she is," I know I don't have to remind

Remus it was her who caused the death of Sirius Black,

probably one of the few things I would thank her for

taking care of. I am know better to admit to my

feelings on this to Remus though. "We need to track

her down, I am sure half of the Death Eater attacks

going on, if not all of them, are her responsibility.

Apparently she is trying to take the place of her late

Lord and she has the magical skill to really make a

mess of things. But I do want to be in on taking her

down, once she is located."

"We will certainly alert you," Remus promises. "In fact ,that is where you might be an asset. You... have experience with people such as her, and I feel you might know when and how she might attack, and what sort of place she could be hiding in."

I look him over and smirk. The way he talks it sounds

like he expects me to do all the ground work then call

on them for aid when in fact I was hoping to enlist

the Order's own resources.

"As you say, I do know Bellatrix from our past

associations and I am keeping my eyes and ears open

for any indication she is hitting any of her old

haunts. I definitely know she is not having any

association with the Malfoys, that much I do know.

However, for me to track her down, I need man power,

to keep their eyes and ears open for anythink, as I

can't be watching everything at once."

"If you want to give me cart blanche on the Order's

resources and contacts, then I can certainly will be

able to use it." I tell him, hoping he goes this route

as it will mean less direct contact with Remus

himself

"You will be in the order, so you will be able to use our resources," Remus says. "And I am not asking you to do all of the work - but you will be an asset. We will all be working together."

"Of course," he continues, "you need not feel obligated."

"Good." I reply. "I do want to prevent another Dark

Lord rising, or Dark Lady. If keeping the Order active

even though its initial purpose, to stop the Dark

Lord, has been achieved, ensures we do not have such a

reign of terror again, then you have my support."

"I will keep in contact." I add, deciding there is

nothing else further to say, except for one last

thing. "By the way, where is the HQ now?"

Remus gives me the location on a piece of paper. "Here. It is secret again."

He looks at his watch. "Well, Severus, I must get back to doing a few things... do you have any further questions?"

I glance at the paper and memorize the location. Once

I do, I cast a simple spell and the paper vanishes in

a puff of smoke.

"I have no further questions at this time Remus. Good

day to you." I tell him.

A Talk with Miss Fry

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 02:21:33 GMT

After dinner I wait in my office for Miss Fry to arrive. The news Minerva and Horace have revealed to me earlier is disturbing and it concerns me some Slytherin students, some who I may have taught potions to several years ago could have done such a thing to a fellow House Mate, even if she is muggle born. I am hoping I can convince Miss Fry to open up to me, without having to resort to more forceful means.

Soon I hear a knock on my door. "Professor Snape?" I hear Miss Fry call out behind it. "Professor Slughorn said you wished to speak with me?"

"Enter I call out." As soon as Miss Fry walks into my office, I point to a chair positioned before my desk. "Please have a seat Miss Fry."

"Do you understand why I have asked you to come see me?" I inquire, not sure if Horace would have explained why I wanted to talk to her.

Miss Fry shakes her head. "No. He just said you wanted to talk with me." She stills. "Did I do something wrong in class? It was not hard to shift from Professor Kappa's style to yours. In fact it was much easier, your style is similar to the tutors I had at home."

"No, this has nothing to do with your Defense class." I tell her truthfully. As she takes a seat I look directly into her eyes so I can pick up any falsehoods or other information from her without resorting to actually casting legilimens on her. Though very effective I find myself reluctant to use it right off the bat.

"It has come to my attention you are not being treated very nicely by some of your Housemates." I tell her calmly. "Though I expected you will have to endure a certain level of teasing and minor hexes as your fellow Slytherins try and adjust to the fact a muggle born was sorted into their House, I did not expect things to go as far as they have. I am concerned how this will affect your grades. As I teach Defense against the Dark Arts, I feel it is my place to ensure you can defend yourself from what your fellow students are trying to do to you."

Miss Fry goes still in her chair and remains silent for a few moments, then speaks up. "What has happened to me is what I was told to expect by my friend that is in Ravenclaw," she says quietly. "She said people like us, Muggleborns, are not generally accepted by some in my House. I assure you, Professor Snape, I take pride in my schoolwork and will not let bullies affect my grades."

"I am glad to hear this," I tell her, steepling my fingers under my chin as I continue to watch her closely. "However, being doused by a Living Daymare potion is not acceptable behavior and has raised great concern about your future wellbeing. This is of course due to no fault of your own however we cannot allow those responsible to continue to try and harm you in such a manner."

"I know all about House Loyalty within Slytherin, having formally been Head of Slytherin myself and an alumi member, thus I greatly appreciate the position you find yourself in." I continue in a calm voice. "I already know Professor Slughorn and Headmistress McGonagall have talked to you about telling them the name of those responsible for giving you that potion and thus far you have kept this information to yourself. Thus I have little hope you will feel more comfortable telling me this information. But I do think you should be extremely careful around your fellow Slytherins, especially if you know the identity of who gave you the Living Daymare potion."

I pause to give Miss Fry a chance to say something while I continue to try and catch surface thoughts. I hoped by my continual alluding to the student responsible for giving her the potion will prompt her to think about him or her, thus allowing me to pluck it from her mind. Unfortunately I find her mind is pretty guarded, whether its a conscious effort on her part or she just possesses a well disciplined mind. I expect the former more than that latter though. It will be better if she just opened up to me on who's responsible and save me the trouble of having to push her into revealing her attacker.

"What will happen to the student who was responsible?" She asks, her tone subdue. "I mean what sort of punishment would be given, if I said their name?"

"That isn't your concern," I tell her, worried if I tell Miss Fry the student will most likely be expelled if the student cannot give a good reason for his or her's actions to placate Minerva. "He or she will have to face the consequences of their actions but it will be the Headmistress who will decide the final punishment."

"It is my concern, Professor. I am not going to be the one to get a student in trouble simply because he or she cannot accept who I am. If I tell, I will forever have that tagged on me. I read some of the history on Slytherin House. Slytherins do not forget."

"You would prefer they try something worse and possibly seriously harming you instead?" I inquire, starting to feel angry. "There is another thing said about Slytherin, we don't tolerate being the victims of other people, especially when there is an easy way to deal with it."

"It is one thing to have harmless pranks and minor hexes cast against you by malcontents, but it is a completely different matter if a fellow student is trying to do you serious harm. Slytherins are survivalists, not full of senseless bravado like a Gryffindor."

Miss Fry stiffens in her seat. "I am looking after myself, Professor. If I say his name, what would keep his friends from retaliation? You said yourself you are from Slytherin, you know how it works better than anyone else. The three Slytherins I have already befriended have already said they would help me keep a closer eye on my food and drink. The student who did this to me... he will get his own within time. Everything comes within full circle." She half smiles. "Something my father says a lot."

"Do keep in mind that retaliations can cause you trouble as well, Miss Fry." I warn her. "Do not be caught in the same position this boy stands in now for what he has done to you so far. As for his friends, better they see you are not afraid to take proper measures to protect yourself, even if it means giving up the guilty parties' name to your teachers."

She nods. "May I go?"

I study her for a few moments while I consider if I should let her go or push her more for the name. I decide to push more now will not get results but keeping a closer eye on the older male Slytherins, may reveal more than what Miss Fry was willing to tell me at this time.

"Very well, you may go," I finally state. "But be cautious and know you can come to me to talk should you wish. I suggest you stay with your friends as much as possible to hopefully discourage this boy from taking further actions against you."

"Thank you Professor," Miss Fry stands up and heads to the door. She pauses, and then glances at me. "It's interesting to think my blood status is what is causing this, and nothing more," she says quietly before she opens the door and is soon gone.

I watch her leave and sigh. McGonagall should never have allowed this girl to be sorted into Slytherin.

Talk with the Headmistress

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 22:46:04 GMT

"Ah, Severus. Glad I caught you. The Headmistress would like to speak to us both," Horace's voice booms out.

I turn at the sound of Horace's booming voice and flinch slightly. For a man of his bulk he sure can move about silently.

"Hello Professor Slughorn," I respond pleasantly.

Horace nods. "Professor. The Headmistress would like a word with the both of us," he repeats.

"Very well," I reply, curious as to what Minerva wanted with the two of us though I can't help wonder if it is related to recent student activities. I walk with Horace towards Minerva's office, letting him give the password to the stone gargoyle guarding the entrance to the spiraling staircase. Once before the doors of the Headmistress's office, I knock once and push the doors open.

"Hello Minerva, you wished to see us?" I inquire.

"Severus, Horace," she greets us both. She puts her hands on her hips as she stares at Horace. "I want answers, Horace. As does the Board of Governors. They already know about the incident with Miss Fry."

Horace flinches. "I spoke to Madam Pince, Headmistress. Three potions books were taken out of the Restricted Section, by my permission to three of the OWL's students. But since the potion that was used on Miss Fry is NEWT level standard, or was before Hogwarts rejected that potion as part of it's cirriculum, it's safe to say that one of my fifth years were not the culprit."

"That leaves several sixth year and seventh year Slytherins as the culprit," Minerva retorts frostily. "Did you even inform Severus of what has happened Horace, like I asked."

"Haven't had the time," Horace grumbles.

"Just what potion did Miss Fry take?" I inquire. Given the board of Governors was involved, it certainly must have been a dangerous potion.

"Someone slipped a potion into her drink during dinner the other night," Horace says. "It causes the drinker to see their inner most nightmares when awake. A prefect found Miss Fry actually a couple hallways away from the Infirmary."

"That sounds like a potion of living daymares, not a potion easily made nor found even in the restricted section," I state. It is also a potion I have used in the past when I was a Death Eater but that knowledge I don't have to share. "I don't expect any student below Newt level will have the required skill to make such a potion. I suspect you will find hellbore and nighmare blood missing in your personal stores, Horace."

"The antidote for the potion is not too complex, I can make one up in a couple hours, should it be needed, Headmistress." I offer though I suspect Madame Pomfrey may have already counteracted the potion by now.

"She had one on her when Miss Fry was brought to the infirmary," Minerva answers. "Then gave her a sleeping potion. Horace said he spoke with her yesterday and she still won't say who put it in her drink, but he thinks she knows who it was. Sames situation when she was discovered with the results of several stinging hexes on her arms. Poppy couldn't get any answer out of her."

"She may know who is doing this Minerva," Horace interjects, "but no matter what happens, she simply will not talk about it."

"Well, I want whoever is doing this to her found. So do the Governors," Minerva's voice turns hard. "The decision to have the culprit's wand snapped and to be expelled has already been made. Find out who did it, before he or she does anything else." Minerva turns to me. "She has apparently taking a liking to your class Severus. Do me a favor, see if you can get any answers from her. And Horace, have your Prefects pay closer attention to the going ons in your House. Another incident with Miss Fry will NOT be tolerated."

I nod, seeing Minerva is definitely not happy about recent events. In fact, I don't blame her, I would do the same thing in her shoes especially giving the seriousness of the potion used on Miss Fry. If the one responsible stuck with stinging hexes and other annoying little spells, they would not be facing possible expulsion.

"I will talk with Miss Fry and see if I can find out who is responsible for giving her the potion," I reply, fully ready to use Legilimens if it came down to it to find out which Slytherin is being so foolish.

"Horace, can you have Miss Fry brought to my office tonight after dinner?" I ask, deciding I might as well get it done as quickly as possible, instead of waiting till after the next 1st year Defense class.

"Of course. But I still say you won't get anything from her. She's been keeping her mouth shut about everything." Horace frowns.

"I don't care. Find out," Minerva snaps. "It's bad enough that the Ministry had to send someone to convince Miss Fry's parents that she needed to come to Hogwarts to control her gift, but I am not going to let their fears that she shouldn't be learning magic, be confirmed. She's here to learn, not to be attacked based on the status of her blood. Most of Slytherin has already grudgingly accepted her. The rest better. Now I have to send the results of what you have learned Horace, to the Governors."

"I will be able to find out what she is hiding, you can count on me Minerva," I tell her. "I will give you the name right after I talk with Miss. Fry."

"Thank you. Have a good day gentlemen."

I incline my head to Minerva and look over at Horace before heading out of the Headmistress's office, expecting he would follow me out.

"Just bring Miss Fry to my office after dinner, Horace and I will deal with this matter once and for all." I tell him firmly. It doesn't surprise me he wasn't able to induce Miss Fry to talk, Horace is a nice man who is good at making introductions and ingratiating himself with students, but he never was good at actual interrogation.

"Very well. But do not be surprised if you don't get any answers, Severus. Even though some do not seem to care about house loyalty, she already does." Horace pauses. "I'm surprised at Minerva's outburst though. She's usually very collected."

"Minerva does not take such attacks on students lightly," I respond. "Nor is it easy to keep collected when you have the Board of Directors breathing down your neck. I am actually surprised she had as much control left as she did."

Horace just nods and wanders off.

Bumping into Former Students

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 07:43:59 GMT

I still can't believe it happened. A royal clutz of a student somehow managed to trip over his own feet and knock every single item I had on display in the Defense class onto the floor. Of course a simple spell could repair the broken vials, containers and glass tank but it won't return the contents of those same containers. It was all I could do at the time to make sure it didn't all explode and take out half of my 2nd year class along with it.

Now I have to go to Hogsmeade and hopefully be able to purchase replacements items for next class.

I just hope Chedora has more Harridan's revenge in stock. If she doesn't I will have to owl order some from a shop in Knockturn Alley which won't arrive in time for my next scheduled 2nd year class.

Apparating just outside the town, I march through the streets and head into a rather dark alleyway. Garbage is piled in the corners and I see several rather fat looking rats scurry away. I wonder if my old 'friend' Wormtail is among them. The thought of him brings a smile of amusement to my face. I suspect he is rotting away somewhere, knowing he will most likely be killed by any of his old friends, the Ministry or his old friends from the Order.

It doesn't take me long to find Chedora's store hidden among the derelict buildings in this little traveled area of Hogsmeade. IN fact if one didn't know what to look for, they wouldn't spot the sign to her little shop. Chedora only dealt with a select number of clients but she certainly does well with those few who are referred to her.

Not much later I leave Chedora's store feeling very pleased. I was in luck she had more in stock so my next 2nd year class will be most rewarding. If another student knocks this batch onto the floor before I finish demonstrating the best way to control a flame eel, I will personally make sure that student is locked in a small room with the flame eel.

While having this rather pleasant thought running through my head I suddenly catch something in the corner of my eye. Whipping my head in that direction I squint carefully trying to see what it was that caught my interest. It looked like one of my former Death Eater 'friends' but the crowd swallowed it up, if he was even there at all. With my eyes scanning the place I thought I saw something, I kept walking, not paying attention where I was going. I only realized how foolish doing this was when I struck somebody.

Bringing my attention fully on who I walked into, I prepare some sort of apology when I realize just who I bumped into and such niceties vanish from my mind.

"Weasley!" I bark in surprise to find him here.

He does a very good impression of a red haired guppy while he searches for something to say, but I don't have to wait long for an answer. Although it's not the answer that I am looking for, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

"Professor Snape - what a surprise to see you here," Granger's voice says as she walks towards us.

Turning I spot the bushy haired know it all I remember teaching not all that long ago.

"Miss Granger, " I say automatically then look at the two of them. Something tells me that form of address is no longer appropriate. "Or will it be more correct if I should address you as Mrs. Weasley?"

"That would be correct." Her voice is guarded, yet polite. "We were married this summer."

"Then congratulations are in order." I reply with a slight smile though I suspect Granger and Weasley will see it more as a grimace.

"I did not expect to see you two in Hogsmeade, or is one of you still in school?" I known neither is in school but the dig felt good. These two may be adults but I doubt I will like them as adults than as children.

"We happen to be both working for the Ministry. In fact, I work in the Department of Mysteries."

A Visit with Charlie

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 22:14:17 GMT

I watch the last of my Defense students file out of class, several mumbling about the amount of homework I assigned. I really do not understand why these children complain. The homework I assign is designed to prepare them for the dangers which lurk in the real world, especially in the wake of the Dark Lord's demise. How many of those grumbling students will thank me in the future for making them put effort into their studies as the knowledge they learn from me saves their whining arses from the spells of dark wizards?

After the classroom clears, I gather last week's assignments and dump them into a box near my desk. I will grade them later. With my last class of the day complete, I decide to track down Weasley. He had extended an invitation to me over a week ago, and so far I have heard nothing from him or any other of the former members of the Order of the Phoenix. With Albus gone, I wondered who was in charge of the the Order. The only other senior members left alive are Mad Eye, Arthur, Minerva and a few others, not to mention myself, though I joined much later during the Dark Lord's first reign of terror. Out of the original members, there are only a few I respect enough and feel confident enough in to lead. If none of them are in charge, then I really wonder who is.

My musings kept my mind occupied long enough that I find myself before Charlie's office. Expecting he will still be inside and not off somewhere else, I knock, then enter his office.

An Enlightening Lunch with Narcissa

Sat, 03 Nov 2007 19:10:13 GMT

Dear Severus:

I am looking forward to talking with you again

Same place, Saturday; The seal will activate at 10 am.

Sincerely, Narcissa

I fold the message and the portkey carefully and put it away to make sure I did remember the time correctly. I didn't doubt my own memory but it certainly pays to be thorough.

At exactly 10am I feel that same wrenching feeling in my guts and the portkey wisks me away. Landing on my feet with knees slightly bent to absorb the shock, I straighten up and put the portkey back into my pocket as I look for my lovely hostess.

"Good morning, Narcissa," I great my hostess as I turn to face her. "How are you today?"

She takes both my hands in her own. "Improving. I actually slept well yesterday. And while the morning sickness is still a problem, it is becoming less frequent. My book is progressing well also. I should have it done by Christmas." She gives a rueful smile at this.

"I am glad you are feeling less sick with the pregnancy." I study her carefully knowing Narcissa doesn't always admit when she isn't feeling as well as she should be. "You do look tired though; I hope this book you are writing isn't keeping you awake when you should be resting."

She shakes her head. "No. I made a deal. I get to sleep when I need to--without nightmares, and the book gets written on time." She smiles softly at me. "But tell me what it is like for you being back at Hogwarts. Do the students seem to be eager to learn? How are my endowment students, Williams and Baddock?"

"A deal with whom?" I ask, concerned. The rest of her statement doesn't make sense. The only person I knew who received nightmares from an outside source was Potter. If Narcissa is being sent nightmares, I want to know the source, though I am pretty sure she isn't getting them from the Dark Lord. "And what do you mean no more nightmares? Are you saying somebody has been intentionally sending you nightmares?"

"The subject of my book. She was making sure I get it finished in time and that I was aware of Bella's intent towards me. Less to save me than to ensure her book is written. But I found a way to talk to her, and she will not send any more nightmares as long as I have her book done by Christmas." She looks embarrassed. "You must think I am mad. I would too, if I had not received the dreams so graphically and so frequently. But since my subject is not a ghost, she can only talk to me when I am dreaming."

The idea of the spirit of Morgana Le Fey talking to Narcissa in her sleep concerns me, but I am no expert on spirits. Perhaps the Hogwart's ghosts will be able to shed more light on this. For now I have to content myself in making sure Narcissa doesn't let her mind be opened too much by beings from beyond the grave.

"I advise caution in dealing with this spirit, Narcissa." I tell her firmly. "I also suggest you sharpen up your occlumens skills and keep her out of your dreams. Though I do not doubt her warnings about Bellatrix, she may use your trust in her as a way to control you, and you must stay alert and protect yourself."

"I know, Severus. I read up in a book how to regain control of my dreams and talk to her. That is what I did. I have not had problems with other spirits," she tells me.

Nodding, I have to assume she is taking all necessary precautions, but I intend to keep a close watch on her to make sure she doesn't start behaving oddly. My concern for her makes me wish I could spend more time with her. Unfortunately if I did make an effort to keep a closer eye on Narcissa, I risk annoying her husband. Though I consider Lucius a friend, at times I wonder how he views my friendship with his wife.

A Meal at the Chrystal Chamber

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 21:30:25 GMT

The last week at Hogwarts has been rather draining and I decide I need a break. At first I think of just spending a night alone in my flat at Spinner's End but the thought depresses me. Sitting alone in that dump certainly will not improve my state of being. Being rather short noticed I do not think I can arrange an evening visiting Narcissa though I could always just Apparate at her doorstep and hope she doesn't mind my dropping in. Or I may find myself hexed before I could even announce who I am.

Giving the information Narcissa told me during our last visit I decide it would be best I don't drop in unexpectedly. A pity I can't just send her a note to meet me somewhere and wait on her there. She will have to find somebody to escort her just in case Bellatrix has the Malfoy Manor watched. This reminds me I have to track down that insane woman and deal with her once and for all. I do know it won't be easy taking Bellatrix down. Though mentally unstable she is still a very formidable witch and not one to underestimate. But I do know some of her weaknesses and those can be exploited. But first I have to find out what she is up to and I am quite positive it has something to do with the disappearances and mind wipes Charlie revealed to me. Unfortunately he has yet to send me details about what he knows. If the Order of the Phoenix is reforming and I am to be a part of it, I need to be fully informed if I am to be able to give them my best efforts. Besides, the extra resources the Order will provide me will make tracking down Bellatrix easier.

Thinking of Bellatrix and the threat she made to Narcissa infuriates me but I force my anger down. Now isn't the time to rage out of control, a time will come when Bellatrix and I meet face to face. But till then I need to get away from the school for a few hours. Perhaps a late dinner somewhere. I think of the perfect place to go and I may even get another chance to speak with Draco.

Now that I have decided to go to the Crystal Chamber for a late dinner, I prepare myself. From all I have heard of the Chamber and the little I saw of it, I know it isn't a place to go dressed like a school teacher. Even though I despise it, I decide to drag out my dress robes. I rarely wear these, in fact the last time I recall wearing them was when the Triwizard tournament was held at Hogwarts, during the Yule Ball.

The dress robes fit me a little loosely, I lost weight during my time on the run and had not yet regained it. Fortunately I did gain enough to ensure the dress robes fit me well. As is all the clothing I wear, it is black. The cloak much more styled and fitted over the shoulders than my usual cloak. The back splits near the bottom given even more of an impression of being great black wings. I know half the students consider me the great black bat of Slytherin and with these robes, I fit that image more. One thing these dress robes do is emphasize my lithe form.

Once fully dressed I spend some effort to comb my hair. My hair has always been lank and lifeless, most people consider it greasy and unwashed. None understand even after I wash my hair, it still hangs limp and lifeless. I have long since given up on trying to make it do anything other than hang straight down about my face. I suppose I could cut it short but I never liked the ideal of having short hair.

Deciding I was not going on a date and there was no need to fuss, I instead make myself look like I fit in with the upper crust of Wizarding Society. The pomp and ceremony of such social gathers was never to my taste but out of respect for Draco, I will try and at least look the part. His club is not some dive, it caters to high society.

Half an hour later I am outside of the Crystal Chamber and stride purposely towards the door. It is eloquent and stylish, exactly the appearance I would expect a Malfoy to present to the world. Inside I am not disappointed, it is decorated with great taste. I am sure Lucius would be proud to be in such surroundings. It only takes me a moment to see the young woman manning the door. I approach her with a slight smile.

Meeting Miss Fry

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 18:59:02 GMT

I just finished my last afternoon class and heading out to patrol the halls before dinner. It felt good to be back in a position of power. Yesterday's talk with Charlie still bothered me, it really annoyed me that such a young man with no prior teaching experience is a Head of House whereas I am not. Before I could even begin to dwell on the unpleasant thought I no longer held the authority at Hogwarts I once did, I hear a voice call my name.

"Ahh, Severus. I thought I asked you to meet me in my office the other day. Why is it we have to run into each other in the halls so I can have a word with you?" Horace Slughorn's pompous voice booms slightly from behind me.

Turning I regard my former potion's teacher. Some part of me hates this man, his fat appearance and failure to truly appreciate my skill at potions when I was a student. I can out class him on any potion easily. Only Lily ever did better in Potions than me during our entire time at Hogwarts.

"Apparently something came up that prevented me from showing up." I respond smoothly. "If you wish I can come to your office now, currently I don't have any more pressing matters to take care of."

"No need to now. I see she's coming down this passage way now." He points past me. "Ah, no Ravenclaw this time. Just the two other first years Miss Fry is seen with. I decided it would be prudent for you to meet Miss Fry, Severus. Since she is the example of when Hell freezes over I believe." Horace grins.

Turning I spot three 1st year students but something in the manner of the central girl tells me she is Miss Fry. I watch her approach, her dark blond hair framing her face in such a way it seemed to scream 'I am better than you'. Smirking I turn back to look at Horace.

"So that is the muggleborn Slytherin. My former house certainly has dropped its standards since I left."

Horace gives me a stare that indicates he is not pleased with what I said. "Talent is what matters," he says stiffly, not like him. "Not the status of blood, Severus." He looks past me. "Miss Fry? May I have a word?"

The three students by that time stopped in front of us. Miss Jessica Fry as it appears startled that a Professor is speaking to her in the halls. The other two glance at her and I hear a low whisper; "Go on ahead." She steps away from the two and approaches the both of us.

"Professor Slughorn," She says politely. Extremely polite. "Is something the matter?"

"Ah no, young lady. I would like to officially introduce you to your new Defense professor, I don't believe the first years had his class yet." Horace looks at me and then back at her. "Miss Fry, this is Professor Snape."

The attention of the student turns from Horace to me. She nods to me. "Hello Professor," She says politely. Everything in her words, her stance, her body language... screams polite.

As Horace made the introductions I study the child. As soon as she is introduced I fix her in my gaze. Her politeness is so pure I suspect it is merely disguise to hide deeper feelings.

"Hello Miss Fry," I return her polite greeting. "Enjoying Hogwarts so far?"

"Yes, sir." She answers automatically. Then grimaces. "I mean yes, Professor. And it's gratifying knowing that learning magic is not just for those who daydream."

"Father was in the Muggle military," Horace mutters softly enough for my ears only.

"It is fine for you to address me as 'Sir'," I tell the young girl. I am satisfied with any term of respect from students. "Sir or Professor are both acceptable forms of address with most of the teachers. Headmistress McGonagall I suspect will resent being called 'Sir'."

She blinks at me, but then smiles. The smile does not last as it fades however. "I imagine she would," she says, and I can tell she's holding back laughter. "I overheard the older Slytherins saying you used to teach here before." She shifts on her feet and her solemn and polite appearance returns. "I take it you are glad to be back to teaching Sir?"

"What you heard from the older students is correct. I have taught at Hogwarts for many years till I took a short, hiatus." I explain. "Professor Slughorn here was good to take over my former position as Potions Master. He too used to teach at Hogwarts, in fact it was he who taught me potions. I am glad to be back and teaching Defense against the Dark Arts. It is a very important subject. I am very pleased to be back and teaching it."

I find Miss Fry rather difficult to read. I can of course try harder but performing legilimens without being noticed is what I prefer. I do see enough about Miss Fry to see she is highly disciplined, schooling her emotions effectively. At my little joke about McGonagall she resisted the urge to outright laugh. I find this rather impressive as very few 11 year old students possessed even half that skill.

"From what I have taken so far, all the subjects are important to learn about the world I am now in," She responds. "Although Defense and Potions are quickly becoming my two favorites. I hope it still is after I take your classes." She turns to Horace. "I'm going to be late for class, Professor. May I go?"

"Of course, Miss Fry. If Flitwick says anything, just tell him you and I were speaking."

Miss Fry nods to him and then to me. "Have a good day Professors." She turns to walk away and ends up nearly colliding with an older Slytherin.

"Watch it you--" He starts to snarl but then stops immediately as he sees Horace and I. "Watch it Fry," he finishes.

"Excuse me. I did not see you. It was my fault." She says in return and walks around him.

The older Slytherin shakes his head and walks off, muttering something about Mudbloods. Horace shakes his own head. "At least they aren't plotting to kill her," He says with a sigh.

As I watch Miss Fry nearly get chewed out by the older Slytherin I find myself wondering how she will handle her fate here. Then I am surprised that I actually care she does do well.

"She is remarkably disciplined," I tell Horace. "Obviously having military parents has taught her self control. I think she will do well in Slytherin, as long as her tough external shell hides an equally tough internal core."

"I am still curious what it is the Hat saw to sort her in Slytherin. She speaks to very few. Those two Slytherin first years and the Ravenclaw first year are the only ones I have seen her with. Very intelligent too. I only got a few pieces of information about her from the Headmistress. Military father, mother some sort of..." Horace pauses, "well not sure what the term is, but she owns some sort of company that sells Muggle contraptions that are quite popular. But the discipline in her, the way she carries herself.. sometimes I think the other Slytherins are trying to figure her out, rather than treat her like something under their shoe."

"I cannot speak for the hat but it is designed to detect the traits each of the Founders looked for in their students." I reply to Horace. "She must have some of the traits valued in Slytherin, cunning, determination, desire to do whatever it takes to achieve one's goals."

"It will be interesting to see how she does through the year." I comment with a slight smirk. "Miss Fry is strong willed but only time will show if she is fragile underneath."

"Strong will indeed."

I turn and look at Horace, debating if I should ask him a favor but decide to wait. I want time to plan my attack before bringing the topic up with my former Potions Professor.

"If there was nothing else Horace, I really should be going." I tell him smoothly. When he shakes his head and states I should stop by and see him any time, I give a slight nod before continuing on my way.

Meeting with Narcissa

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 02:35:34 GMT

I am feeling especially pleased with myself. With the unexpected loss of Hogwart's current Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, Minerva offered me the position. I am qualified and I am available and she knew I wouldn't refuse the post. Finally I feel secure enough to get in touch with other old friends. Friends I have been avoiding too long.

By now Narcissa will know I talked with her son Draco and I already expressed an interest in getting into contact with her. Now seems like a good time to do it.

The simplest way to send a message is the direct route so I compose a short message and head out to the school owlry after the students have all gone to bed. I could have done this any time during the day but I like my activities to be unobserved. Looking out at the various school owls, several looking they just came back from hunting, I pick out a nondescript bird, deciding the least noticed the better.

Obediently it flies down to me and settles on a perch while I attach the message to is leg. Once firmly attached I say 'Narcissa Malfoy' and bring the owl outside to launch into the darkness.

It probably be morning before she receives the letter, which suits me fine. This minor task done, I return to my office to continue going over lesson plans.

Dear Narcissa,

Long it has been since we last talked, and it is past time for this to change. Thus I send you greetings and hope everything is well and that we can talk once more as we have in the past.

I am working as an instructor at Hogwarts after one of its teachers had to depart unexpectedly, and as I was available, I was given the post. But we can talk about that more later. For now, you can find me at Hogwarts awaiting your response.

Severus

Discussion with Draco

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 01:07:26 GMT

It was a surprise to learn my old office and quarters at Hogwarts had not been touched since my rather abrupt departure nearly two years ago. Surprising but a relief. Most of my possessions which I valued I had left in these rooms and it is gratifying to know Minerva did not toss everything out the first chance she had.

Since my name had been cleared I have been cleaning things up in my rooms, dusting off the multitude of preserved creatures. went through my potion ingredients and tossing out that which had spoiled in my absence and taking note of what needed replacing. Talks with Horace, my former Potion's instructor revealed he himself rarely used my personal stores, preferring to leave that untouched. I suspect he was worried I had bobby-trapped my personal stores, instead he just stocked up on what he needed from the school green houses or Diagon Alley these past years.

Now that I have returned I let Horace know he can have access to my potion stores, since he is Hogwarts Potion Master now. I did not wish to have him removed from this post which it is very obvious he enjoys. With the threat of Voldemort now gone, i can see Horace is again enjoying his creature comforts. However a lack of a teaching job for me had left me with way to much free time on my hands. So I brew potions to replenish the schools potions supplies, provide samples whenever Horace wants one for his classes and pretty much keep myself busy.

Since Minerva has not officially made me a member of the staff, I keep to myself most of the time, not bothering with looking for students to punish. Instead I catch up on all the things I have missed while on the run. A big part of this is deciding if I should send out owls to all my old friends, or remain silent. As most of my friends outside of this school have been Death Eaters, I do not know for sure what sort of reception I would receive. Will they assume my disappearance meant betrayal of all we believed in while serving the Dark Lord?

Most of my former friends are either dead, in Azkaban or currently on the run, including Lucius Malfoy. Yet his son, Draco has been cleared of any wrongdoing and working a club in Diagon Alley. I also learn that his mother is free from prosecution as well. But will all her mail be watched for possible communications to or from Lucius? That I don't know and decide it may be best I do not attempt to contact her at this time.

Thus I sit and stew, keeping mostly to myself here at Hogwarts, though occasionally I do make an appearance in the Great Hall for dinner. I would join my former staff members more often for meals but the stares and whispered comments by some of the staff and the students, quickly becomes tedious. I know many of them do not feel I deserve my freedom. That just goes to show how little they know. If they knew even a fraction of what I had to go through they would run screaming into the night from the horror of it all.

After a couple weeks of lurking in Hogwarts, I decide it is time to get out and stretch my legs. In short, just get away from the school and take care of some personal matters. Thus on a fine Saturday morning I walk across the grounds of Hogwarts till I pass the winged boars marking the boundary of the school and thus the end of the magical protections around the school and apparate away. Minutes alter I appear in Diagon Alley and stride down its busy streets.

As my name has been cleared I do not bother disguising who I am. However I don't blatantly show my face either. I highly doubt every witch and wizard will be happy to see me walking about freely. Thus I keep my hood up so my features are not obvious unless people look at my face when close to me. Thus i am able to move about the Alley with little difficulty.

After a couple hours of shopping, buying various ingredients that cannot be found in Madame Sprout's greenhouses or herb gardens, picking up the latest books on potions I have been wanting to get as well as various personal items, I arrange to have all the parcels delivered to Hogwarts. No need to be burdened by packages while I look for a place to have a spot to eat before returning to Hogwarts.

I was just about to settle down at one of the several small street side eateries when I spot a familiar blonde head moving about the crowds. Standing once more to get a better view, I see it is indeed who I suspected it was. As he was heading roughly in my direction I wait till he was much closer before I call out his name. I didn't want to shout across the alley for him, that would draw way too much attention, but as he drew closer, though he had yet to look in my direction, I felt it safe to call his name without too many people overhearing me.

"Draco, over here." I call out and wait to see if he heard me.

I can see his eyebrows go up as he recognizes me and gives a smirk, coming over to me. "I was wondering when I might run into you again. I read about your name being cleared, and I had thought about sending you an owl, but I have had my own issues to deal with." He looks about the side street. "If you would prefer, we can go someplace more private to talk, where we don't have to concern ourselves with being overheard."

"Yes, someplace more private is agreeable." I reply to Draco. "Anyplace in mind?"

Private talk with Minerva

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 23:12:03 GMT

After Minerva leaves I look around my former office and home. Nothing has changed, nothing at all. Maybe a bit more dust in some corners as the House Elves didn't clean as well as they could once they realized this place is unoccupied. Or perhaps a lot of dust gathers during the day before the elves come in at night.

As I walk through these rooms I spent so much of my adult life, I recall memories. Conversations with Albus as he visits me here instead of just having me summoned to his office. Detentions I gave to numerous students, especially Potter in those last 6 years of teaching, forcing him to do various unpleasant tasks, the last being going through old detention cards Filch wanted repaired. Looking around, I actually spot some of those boxes, pushed out of the way near the end of last year before that fateful night, before I did what I didn't want to do but had no choice.

Anger rises in me and I am tempted to blast the boxes of punishment cards to smithereens but with effort I calm myself. Such an action would be pointless and only show weakness. Instead I use my wand to send the boxes back into storage where they came from. I won't be giving punishments for awhile and Potter had already left school.

Potter, the very name still fills me with hatred. I know it was not Harry Potter who tormented me so much as a child, nor stole that which was the only thing I truly loved and gave me pleasure. It was James Potter, dead all these years, killed by The Dark Lord along with his wife, my love, Lily Evans. Sighing I sit behind my desk, pushing the image of Lily from my mind. It did not help that Harry has Lily's eyes. If he also had his father's eyes, as he does his hair and looks, it would have been so much easier to deal with Potter. But no, he had to have her eyes, that one feature of Lily's I loved the most.

Though I was hard on Potter, I hope by keeping him safe and ensuing he passed the trial and thus was ready to face his greatest challenge, I hoped Lily's spirit would rest easy and forgive me for my part in her death.

It is times like these I wish there was a way to communicate with the dead. How I wish to know if Lily forgave me for being the reason The Dark Lord choose her boy to attack instead of another. Would all those years risking my life every minute by being Dumbledore's eyes and ears within the Dark Lord's camp be enough to show how deeply I regret my actions all those years? Of snooping on Dumbledore as he interviewed Cybil and overheard part of the prophecy she gave about Potter and relaying that information to The Dark Lord? Or will Lily still hate me for the death of her beloved James and herself, forcing her to leave her son parent-less?

The frustration of not knowing if I did enough, if there wasn't more I could do to atone, quickly takes the place of my earlier rage and I pound my fist upon my desk. There is no other way I can repay her, if she is not satisfied. Some may think taking my own life would be penance enough but I know Lily well enough she would never wish death upon her friends or even her enemies. Her son is safe now, the Dark Lord is vanquished....all I can hope is all I have done thus far is enough. I feel it is time for me to return to living my own life, free of any masters. Free of Dumbledore, an old friend I will always miss and regret he forced me to be his executioner, despite what I told the Minister and the others earlier. Even if by killing Albus, I prevented him from suffering a painful death as the curse slowly killed his flesh, leaving his body as blackened and lifeless as his hand. It still felt like murder to me.

But my part in that has been explained and I am freed of the burden of being viewed as a murderer of a great wizard. With the Dark Lord dead, killed by the boy he tried to slay nearly two decades ago, I no longer have to lock my thoughts up tight to prevent him knowing the truth of my loyalties. I no longer have to walk the fine line between the light and the dark. I am free to be me. To be Severus Snape, not the Potions Master of Hogwarts, or the chief Death Eater of the Dark Lord's army.

Who this new Severus Snape will truly be, I do not know. So much of my drive seems to have vanished along with the dark mark upon my arm. Returning to Hogwarts seemed like a good thing to do. Here i will determine if being a teacher still is something I wish to do. Now it is a job I need, for my funds are limited and won't last me forever. Of course my skills can get me many other positions, my past unfortunately, will deny me may posts. Too many people still remember me as a Death Eater, even if the Ministry knew I was Dumbledore's spy long before the Dark Lord fell the first time.

Soon a few days pass, and I do not leave my rooms. I get my meals, I get the occasional visit from Filius Flitwick, Horace Slughorn and a couple others. None stay long. The house-elves speaks of the whispers among the students, wondering about my whereabouts and what I will be doing now. How the Prophet is determined to find me.

As I finish up my dinner, I hear a rapping on my door.

Thinking it might be another possible visit from Slughorn, I ignore it. But the rapping becomes more insistent and finally I stalk over and open the door.

Standing there is a witch about my height with Japanese features. She looks young, but is holding a few books and has the air of a professor.

"You must be Severus Snape," she says briskly. "I am Professor Kamina Kappa. The Headmistress asked me to come to you and inform you that she now has the time to talk with you now, if you are still willing."

I study this young woman for a few moments trying to place her but fail to recall her. Even though I had not been teaching for the last couple of years, I have a very good memory when it comes to my previous students. I do not recall this young woman ever being in any of my potions classes nor does she look old enough to be in school before I started teaching. She certainly didn't attend Hogwarts while I was a student. Thus I can only conclude this Kamina never attended Hogwarts and she must also be a recent hire. It is then that it occurs to me she must have been hired to take my place teaching Defense against The Dark Arts. Immediately I sneer at her as I look her up and down. How long will this frail looking female last as a DADA instructor? How much criticism could she take before she up and quits, leaving that post free once again so I can take it up again.

"I am Severus." I reply after I observe her in silence for several seconds. "You are obviously the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. Good luck at that post."

She arches an eyebrow, but is not affected by my comment. "Why thank you," she says dryly. "I think I can manage it quite well. But at least you spared me the insult, remark, or comment about my name and profession. Decent of you at least." She gives me a look. "Apparently not all the rumors are true."

I glance over at the remains of my dinner and decide I had eaten enough.

"Farewell Professor Kappa." I tell the young woman as I open the door and step back, clearly indicating she is to leave my office before I do. Once she departs, I close the door behind me and head up towards the Headmistress's office.

She steps out and walks off. I pause as I hear a couple students call out her name and as I get closer, I see her speaking with a couple of them. She glances over at me, nods, and then walks off with the students, greeting the occasional one here and there.

Reaching the gargoyle guarding the stairway leading up to Minerva's office, I speak the password she gave the last time I was here. Kamina didn't mention any new password so I doubted Minerva would have changed it since I was last here. Since the gargoyle jumped out of the way and the wall opened up to reveal the revolving staircase the password was still the same and I was free to proceed up to Minerva's office. Once before the large wooden doors, I knock firmly and wait to be called in.

Ghostly Cat

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 19:59:12 GMT

I didn't expect it would take very long to get a response from Minerva to my letter and I wasn't wrong. In fact, after I sent my owl to the current Headmistress of Hogwarts, I didn't return to Spinner's End. Instead I holed up in one of my 'old' school friend's favorite hideout, the Shrieking Shack. I didn't want owls looking for me at my old dwelling place since I still didn't want to draw attention to myself. All this hiding about is very wearisome.

Thus I was settled on the remains of a bed in the Shrieking Shack when Minerva's ghostly cat patronis whisked up to me and sat before me. I gave a slight nod that I was ready to hear its message.

"Severus Snape. We meet in five days. Expect a cat by the entrance of Hogwarts. Do not try to get in until you see me or I will take action. We will talk in my office. Safer. And you better be prepared to talk."

Short and direct, just what I expect from Minerva.

"I understand and will be there in 5 days." I told the ghostly cat which stretched and yawned as though it felt the whole thing rather boring. But it then streaked off to relay my reply. I of course could have dismissed the patronis and used my own but it may raise unwanted questions if my patronis was seen streaking up into Hogwarts.

Five days time, I had hoped we could meet much earlier than that but I should not have been surprised. Minerva will most likely want to prepare a few surprised for me, should my arrival be a threat. It does come across my mind she may be setting a trap for me but I have to trust her sense of justice and desire for the truth will stay her hand long enough to give me my chance to explain my actions.

Looking around the Shrieking Shack, I find it looks better than my own home. Why I live in such a hovel I don't really know, perhaps it is because I do not feel riches or social status does not indicate a man's power or greatness. Or I just do not have the desire to waste time cleaning.

Since I have no more need to be in the Shrieking Shack I apparate back home. It will be a long 5 days but it will give me time to prepare my defense. Unfortunately y two biggest assets rely on Albus being willing to explain our deal and if I am giving a chance to show my memories in Albus's pensieve. I also hope I do not have to reveal these memories as they are very private and it was difficult to tell Albus about them way back when he accepted me into the Order and allowed me to correct the error I made.